still no baby - had contractions this morning but now nothing ...
happy mother's day to everyone
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Bridal Shower Saturday
So today I am going to my first Bridal shower ever and I will not know a single person there other than the bride to be. It's at a restaurant where hopefully there will be something that I can actually eat that they serve and it's about an hour away in a town I don't think I've ever been to. Oh yeah and parking is either parallel parking or park two blocks away. Mind you I'm about oh I don't know 38 weeks pregnant lol. I'll figure it out when I get there I guess hopefully I will find a close spot and yeah.
Other than that I don't have anything planned for today. Maybe I'll do some scrapping - we shall see what the day brings.
Other than that I don't have anything planned for today. Maybe I'll do some scrapping - we shall see what the day brings.
Friday, April 30, 2010
hot
right now: 7:47pm
at: home
doing: nothing
so today i get a letter that my disability was rejected like i'm lying that i'm pregnant right and i'm totally not having a baby RIGHT .... ughhh i think it's that my job sent it too early so now they have to resend all the paperwork again and who knows how long it will be before i get paid, this really really sucks
it's hot as hell outside.
a bird pooped on my shoulder yesterday - good luck my ass
one more week and this baby will be out of me - i want it to happen and i don't want it to happen. does that make sense lol, why am i even scared i don't even know. but i am. i just hope it goes smoothly.
it's friday i'm bored, hot and tired
at: home
doing: nothing
so today i get a letter that my disability was rejected like i'm lying that i'm pregnant right and i'm totally not having a baby RIGHT .... ughhh i think it's that my job sent it too early so now they have to resend all the paperwork again and who knows how long it will be before i get paid, this really really sucks
it's hot as hell outside.
a bird pooped on my shoulder yesterday - good luck my ass
one more week and this baby will be out of me - i want it to happen and i don't want it to happen. does that make sense lol, why am i even scared i don't even know. but i am. i just hope it goes smoothly.
it's friday i'm bored, hot and tired
Friday, April 16, 2010
Fantastically Slow Friday
Right now: 2:07pm
At: Work
Doing: killing time before my 2:30 meeting
Tummy grumbles - you know what that means (and no I'm not talking about hunger) hahaha.
I'm so ready to go home - was finally comfortable this morning sleeping - which believe me has been harder and harder every day. Missed my alarm and my mom had to wake me up, I could have been late but for whatever reason i wasn't - I was actually just on time. I don't know how that happens I could leave the house late or early and still get here at the same damn time. It makes no sense whatsoever but anytime going home will ALWAYS take a whole hour. Go figure!
Next week is bring your kid to work day - my daughter is 3 and doesn't fall into the recommended age category - but she came last year. Makes no sense as my kid was not the one being bad. Makes you go hmmmm. It's OK it's the day before my last day before I go on leave. Only thing I'm worried about is going 4 weeks without getting paid. Thank god I have money in savings otherwise I would really be fucked. I don't like being a single income family. I wish my man made more money than I did then my life would be easier but he doesn't and it's not. Life is never easy. Ever.
Volcano in Iceland, sinkhole in Richmond California swallows empty car, Israel bans the Ipad - these are the subjects of today's news online. The pictures of the volcano are pretty cool, although I don't think I would like to be that close or close enough to get a picture as good as some of the ones I've seen - I mean people do realize it's an ERUPTING volcano yes? Idiots I tell ya. It's like a tsunami hits and you want to stand on the water to watch - like hello mcfly anyone there?
Who else noticed the back to the future reference in the last paragraph? hehe. Bored and I still have fifteen minutes before my meeting which I know is going to run late and I want to leave on time which is at 3:30. Maybe I should email my stuff now so I don't have to worry about it after the meeting. This guy is cool and all but his one second leaves me sitting in a chair in his office staring out the window while he talks on the phone for half an hour. Yeah not cool. One thing at a time buddy and that's how you get things done in a timely manner.
At: Work
Doing: killing time before my 2:30 meeting
Tummy grumbles - you know what that means (and no I'm not talking about hunger) hahaha.
I'm so ready to go home - was finally comfortable this morning sleeping - which believe me has been harder and harder every day. Missed my alarm and my mom had to wake me up, I could have been late but for whatever reason i wasn't - I was actually just on time. I don't know how that happens I could leave the house late or early and still get here at the same damn time. It makes no sense whatsoever but anytime going home will ALWAYS take a whole hour. Go figure!
Next week is bring your kid to work day - my daughter is 3 and doesn't fall into the recommended age category - but she came last year. Makes no sense as my kid was not the one being bad. Makes you go hmmmm. It's OK it's the day before my last day before I go on leave. Only thing I'm worried about is going 4 weeks without getting paid. Thank god I have money in savings otherwise I would really be fucked. I don't like being a single income family. I wish my man made more money than I did then my life would be easier but he doesn't and it's not. Life is never easy. Ever.
Volcano in Iceland, sinkhole in Richmond California swallows empty car, Israel bans the Ipad - these are the subjects of today's news online. The pictures of the volcano are pretty cool, although I don't think I would like to be that close or close enough to get a picture as good as some of the ones I've seen - I mean people do realize it's an ERUPTING volcano yes? Idiots I tell ya. It's like a tsunami hits and you want to stand on the water to watch - like hello mcfly anyone there?
Who else noticed the back to the future reference in the last paragraph? hehe. Bored and I still have fifteen minutes before my meeting which I know is going to run late and I want to leave on time which is at 3:30. Maybe I should email my stuff now so I don't have to worry about it after the meeting. This guy is cool and all but his one second leaves me sitting in a chair in his office staring out the window while he talks on the phone for half an hour. Yeah not cool. One thing at a time buddy and that's how you get things done in a timely manner.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
terrible thursday
Right now: 1:55pm
At: Work
Doing: Fighting the black spots I keep seeing before I get a migraine
Do you know about Post Partum depression - that's like after you have the baby depression, do you think there is prepartum depression? Some say maybe I'm just hormonal but really I'm just tired of the bullshit. It's just been a really bad day - sad day - hard day.
Right now I'm trying to fight this headache away and be able to see through the spots.
I'm hungry - I want some real food - some fulfilling food, something yummy and decadent - any suggestions? I'm beating the hunger with a dilapidated snickers bar - what does that mean you ask well I'm eating a snickers - hold the chocolate, hold the caramel, hold the nougat ... in other words I'm eating peanuts and you know it's just not as satisfying as the real thing. You know I always eat the whole peanut first before I eat the ones that have split from their other halves and are lonely - do you know what I mean is that weird?
I officially have a headache now.
So I saw a real life Kindle today - and no I want one. Really really want one. Like my birthday is in June and I'm going to go home and ask for one haha.
At: Work
Doing: Fighting the black spots I keep seeing before I get a migraine
Do you know about Post Partum depression - that's like after you have the baby depression, do you think there is prepartum depression? Some say maybe I'm just hormonal but really I'm just tired of the bullshit. It's just been a really bad day - sad day - hard day.
Right now I'm trying to fight this headache away and be able to see through the spots.
I'm hungry - I want some real food - some fulfilling food, something yummy and decadent - any suggestions? I'm beating the hunger with a dilapidated snickers bar - what does that mean you ask well I'm eating a snickers - hold the chocolate, hold the caramel, hold the nougat ... in other words I'm eating peanuts and you know it's just not as satisfying as the real thing. You know I always eat the whole peanut first before I eat the ones that have split from their other halves and are lonely - do you know what I mean is that weird?
I officially have a headache now.
So I saw a real life Kindle today - and no I want one. Really really want one. Like my birthday is in June and I'm going to go home and ask for one haha.
Friday, April 9, 2010
TGIF
Right now: 10:14am
At: Work
Doing: Trying desperately hard not to fall asleep
It's Friday - thank god finally it has come around. I'm falling asleep because still I have nothing to do. It's sad and depressing and very hard to look like you're busy even though you really aren't I mean how many times can you look at your email and at the mainframe without actually doing anything on it just looking and poking around. It's pathetic really. I wish they would just let us go home early ever since new management came on we lost all our Jewish holidays and we lost our early leaving on Fridays so technically I am working an hour overtime everyweek but getting paid the same - it really sucks. That's why I make sure to always go out during lunch because I don't want to be stuck here for an even longer time, for what I need to get out and get some air and stuff, cause this place is just too boring for words.
Everyday while I sit at work I'm bored and so I start to think of the things I want to do when I get home, so I make up a game plan - but let me tell you none of them ever come true. It's sad but true. I just can't get home and do stuff that I think about there is always other stuff that gets in the way. Usually it's the little one and her wanting to stay outside all day because it's nice out. She's too silly.
Movies I can't wait to see - SATC2, Twilight: Eclipse, Iron Man 2, Harry Potter
Books I'm looking forward to - The Unwritten Rule (as soon as I find it), Forget You, Burned (House of Night Series), and Linger.
Parties I'm looking forward to - my shower, Isabella's Birthday party, my Birthday
I need to do some crafting - I want to try my hand at a stuffie - wish me luck!
At: Work
Doing: Trying desperately hard not to fall asleep
It's Friday - thank god finally it has come around. I'm falling asleep because still I have nothing to do. It's sad and depressing and very hard to look like you're busy even though you really aren't I mean how many times can you look at your email and at the mainframe without actually doing anything on it just looking and poking around. It's pathetic really. I wish they would just let us go home early ever since new management came on we lost all our Jewish holidays and we lost our early leaving on Fridays so technically I am working an hour overtime everyweek but getting paid the same - it really sucks. That's why I make sure to always go out during lunch because I don't want to be stuck here for an even longer time, for what I need to get out and get some air and stuff, cause this place is just too boring for words.
Everyday while I sit at work I'm bored and so I start to think of the things I want to do when I get home, so I make up a game plan - but let me tell you none of them ever come true. It's sad but true. I just can't get home and do stuff that I think about there is always other stuff that gets in the way. Usually it's the little one and her wanting to stay outside all day because it's nice out. She's too silly.
Movies I can't wait to see - SATC2, Twilight: Eclipse, Iron Man 2, Harry Potter
Books I'm looking forward to - The Unwritten Rule (as soon as I find it), Forget You, Burned (House of Night Series), and Linger.
Parties I'm looking forward to - my shower, Isabella's Birthday party, my Birthday
I need to do some crafting - I want to try my hand at a stuffie - wish me luck!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Doctors Galore
Right now: 9:57am
At: work
Doing: Watching Alias on my Ipod and blogging, no work to be done
So today I have a crap load of doctor's appointments - 3 to be exact which is more than enough for me. I'm just killing time at work until I have to go. My appointments, you ask, are at 2:30, 3:00 and 4:45 sounds like fun I know. Well I supposed because of my age, weight and race I was one of the lucky ones to have Gestational Diabetes which sucks because that means I have to poke my finger four times a day (my finger hurts) and I can only eat at certain times and certain foods. All in all it sucks and I can't wait to get this over with so I can have a big bowl of Ice Cream and some Outback :-)
I miss Outback!
Back to my appointments - every week, once a week I must get an ultrasound, then I need to get a monitoring test of the baby's heart beat and kicks, and contractions if any. Then soon right now twice a week will be the reg doctor's visits. it's annoying and tedious and just another thing i have to do, only good thing is that I get to leave early from work once a week that's always a major plus.
You know the people around here really irritate the hell out of me. They will run around in circles and choose not to help when needed instead they blame it on someone else and ask that they do the work. I'm so annoyed with these people, there is no team work, there is no help you really are only out there for yourself and no one else. The world really is just dog eat dog. People are annoying. Ugh I can't stand them and then they talk about crap they don't even know what they are talking about. i think we should get rid of all supervisors and everyone be a boss themselves because the middle management is just useless. Period.
At: work
Doing: Watching Alias on my Ipod and blogging, no work to be done
So today I have a crap load of doctor's appointments - 3 to be exact which is more than enough for me. I'm just killing time at work until I have to go. My appointments, you ask, are at 2:30, 3:00 and 4:45 sounds like fun I know. Well I supposed because of my age, weight and race I was one of the lucky ones to have Gestational Diabetes which sucks because that means I have to poke my finger four times a day (my finger hurts) and I can only eat at certain times and certain foods. All in all it sucks and I can't wait to get this over with so I can have a big bowl of Ice Cream and some Outback :-)
I miss Outback!
Back to my appointments - every week, once a week I must get an ultrasound, then I need to get a monitoring test of the baby's heart beat and kicks, and contractions if any. Then soon right now twice a week will be the reg doctor's visits. it's annoying and tedious and just another thing i have to do, only good thing is that I get to leave early from work once a week that's always a major plus.
You know the people around here really irritate the hell out of me. They will run around in circles and choose not to help when needed instead they blame it on someone else and ask that they do the work. I'm so annoyed with these people, there is no team work, there is no help you really are only out there for yourself and no one else. The world really is just dog eat dog. People are annoying. Ugh I can't stand them and then they talk about crap they don't even know what they are talking about. i think we should get rid of all supervisors and everyone be a boss themselves because the middle management is just useless. Period.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
blogging
I was told today that I should get back to blogging ... so I'm going to try even though I really don't think people read this really. But here goes nothing.
Right now - 2:32pm
At: Work
Doing: Nothing sad but true.
I'm officially today 35 weeks pregnant I cannot believe I only have five more weeks, and after this week is through only two more weeks of work. My last day will be April 23rd. I can't wait honestly I just want to be able to sleep it's really hard waking up at five every morning. Just an extra hour or two and I would be fine, but five really does kill me.
I met my sister in January - she's cool never realized how short she was :-) feels good to be taller than someone else for a change hehe. My older brother went to meet her as well. I still can't stand the bitch ... I'm civil but only cause I have to be. (talking about you know who not my sister duh). Nothing we can do there is an innocent child involved - whatever.
My and my significant other are still together and we're doing ok even though he is still making me cry because he is forever going out. It's really starting to piss me off (and yes I don't trust him I never trust anyone so I will always think the worse that's just the way I am like it or not), but conveniently he needs to go out every Friday and Saturday. MOFO I want to go out too who cares if I'm pregnant that doesn't mean you can't take me to a movie or dinner or something geez, we used to do things ughhh for another blog though cause I really don't feel like talking about it right now cause I will just get upset.
My baby is 3 almost 4 and the cutest thing ever but very annoying lol. She is at the stage where she cries for everything she wants - I know you know that stage we all went through it. And she is very jealous wonder how she will be when her sister arrives. Will be interesting to watch at least and tiresome. I just wish she'd pass through this whiny crying phase already cause it's annoying. Sometimes I just have to laugh at her though.
Um IDK what else to talk about really ... so I'll leave it at that with updates and nothing more will blog more tomorrow as I'm sure I will be bored at work - although I won't be here much since I'm out around 1:00 which is a beautiful thing or would be if I didn't have three doctors appointments to go to ugh whatever I can't wait for this to be over.
Right now - 2:32pm
At: Work
Doing: Nothing sad but true.
I'm officially today 35 weeks pregnant I cannot believe I only have five more weeks, and after this week is through only two more weeks of work. My last day will be April 23rd. I can't wait honestly I just want to be able to sleep it's really hard waking up at five every morning. Just an extra hour or two and I would be fine, but five really does kill me.
I met my sister in January - she's cool never realized how short she was :-) feels good to be taller than someone else for a change hehe. My older brother went to meet her as well. I still can't stand the bitch ... I'm civil but only cause I have to be. (talking about you know who not my sister duh). Nothing we can do there is an innocent child involved - whatever.
My and my significant other are still together and we're doing ok even though he is still making me cry because he is forever going out. It's really starting to piss me off (and yes I don't trust him I never trust anyone so I will always think the worse that's just the way I am like it or not), but conveniently he needs to go out every Friday and Saturday. MOFO I want to go out too who cares if I'm pregnant that doesn't mean you can't take me to a movie or dinner or something geez, we used to do things ughhh for another blog though cause I really don't feel like talking about it right now cause I will just get upset.
My baby is 3 almost 4 and the cutest thing ever but very annoying lol. She is at the stage where she cries for everything she wants - I know you know that stage we all went through it. And she is very jealous wonder how she will be when her sister arrives. Will be interesting to watch at least and tiresome. I just wish she'd pass through this whiny crying phase already cause it's annoying. Sometimes I just have to laugh at her though.
Um IDK what else to talk about really ... so I'll leave it at that with updates and nothing more will blog more tomorrow as I'm sure I will be bored at work - although I won't be here much since I'm out around 1:00 which is a beautiful thing or would be if I didn't have three doctors appointments to go to ugh whatever I can't wait for this to be over.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Julia & Julia
Watching this and it just made me want to go and blog - about what I don't know. I wish I had enough inspiration for me to do a blog like that. How amazing would that be to cook your way through a whole book but honestly think about it that has to be super expensive think of all the food you would have to buy. right now i have a massive headache i'm 4.5 months pregnant and tired. ready to go home. our holiday party was yesterday - it was nice. um lemme finish watching this movie lol.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
today is ...
going to be one of those days. i already feel super emotional and could probably start crying at the drop of a hat. it's going to be a very very long day.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Horrible
today i feel horrible, ugly, tired and just want to crawl under a rock and disappear. I went pumpkin picking yesterday. took a picture of myself and when i was downloading them onto my computer i saw the picture i took of myself and i looked horrible, i looked tired i looked just bad bad bad. now im feeling blah
Thursday, October 8, 2009
it's been forever
right now I'm irritated and extremely bored i have absolutely nothing to do and the only thing i really want to do is go home and go to sleep. i hate being so tired all the time it's really not fun especially when you have stuff to do at home.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
blugh
I'm literally falling asleep at work and the only thing i wish i had was a bed next to me, i'm so freaking tired and bored i have absolutely nothing to do at all. it's quite sad really. why are we so slow? i have no clue i just don't want to hear that it's cause of the economy anymore fuck the economy. i just dont want to lose my job cause i need it especially with a bun in the oven. anywho i'm ready to go home but i still have half an hour i've been playing games online all day practically. sad i tell ya just plain old sad.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
sad
Why am I attracted to the dumbest men ever, the incosiderate, the broke, the untalented, the sometimes not worthy. I don't really know, all I know is that he just doesn't thinks ometimes and sometimes makes me regret ever meeting him. i wonder how my life would be if that never happened. maybe i'd be happier than i am right now.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
sometimes
do you wish you were with someone else like you see someone on the street that is super hot or something and just wish you could be with them. seriously sometimes i just want to be with someone else i dont know why i get these feelings i just do. it's not that i don't love the person i'm with cause i do, really i do, but sometimes i just want a little bit more. did i make the right choice? i'm sure i did and even if i didn't he is good to me and that's where it really matters, right.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Sleep
Something i dont' get much of - and let me tell you there are days that i wonder how i make it home ... right now it's 2:34 and i'm falling asleep at my desk ... literally
Monday, July 6, 2009
job - hate
I FUCKIN HATE MY JOB - WHERE DOES SOMEONE GET THE FUCKIN COJONES TO TELL THE CUSTOMER THAT I FUCKED UP? I DID WHAT I WAS TOLD TO DO IF THE TRUCKER COULDN'T MAKE IT HAPPEN IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FAULT.
i hate my job - if i knew "his" car i would fuckin key it if i knew i wouldn't get caught.
i hate my job - if i knew "his" car i would fuckin key it if i knew i wouldn't get caught.
Monday, June 8, 2009
4 more days until ...
I go on my VA trip - and five days until i turn 30 which i think i did a list of things i wanted to do before then yeah i doubt i did many if any of those ahhahaha.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
talking to exes ... and he's just not that into you
Is it cheating if your dating someone, and you text/IM other men?
Is it wrong to talk to exes?
What am I doing - at one point the guilt felt just too much for me this weekend LOL. we had a really great weekend, i have a really great guy so why do i feel the need to go out and look for others? i have never cheated on my current bf (i've cheated on ever bf i've ever had except the very short relationships cause duh they were too short). We've been together almost four years now the only different thing about this relationship in regards to the other ones is that we have a child and we live together. And don't get me wrong, i'm totally happy with him. Sure there was a few weeks there where things were really tough with me emotionally and i was just drained completely that's when i was really contemplating wandering. i'm just not used to the same person for so long, sometimes you just want something different you know what i mean.
I know i probably wouldn't do anything with anyone but still sometimes you just wonder.
Last night I saw "he's just not that into you". And I totally get the review with women start from when they are little to believe if a man treats you bad then he likes you etc etc and ends with the same false hope thinking that you are the exception to the rule. But you know what WHO CARES, the movie was great. I loved everyone's story lines. They had a little bit of everyone or someone you know in the story. the girl who finds guys online, the married couple, the couple that have been together forever but are not married, the couple who act like one but aren't one because the girl doesn't want to settle, and of course my fav the girl who wants the fantasy and goes about it in a psycho way and the boy who uses women and in the end realizes that he loves the psycho. I LOVED THIS MOVIE!!!!!!! i don't care about reality stuff when i see a movie i see it as a movie and nothing more but i literally watched it two times yesterday and was sad to see it go in the mail this morning. i really want that movie in my collection i could watch justin long and ben affleck all day and night long. Seriously. i want the movie and i want the book and i told my bf that last night. my bday is next saturday let's see if he comes through LOL. probably not hahaha.
Is it wrong to talk to exes?
What am I doing - at one point the guilt felt just too much for me this weekend LOL. we had a really great weekend, i have a really great guy so why do i feel the need to go out and look for others? i have never cheated on my current bf (i've cheated on ever bf i've ever had except the very short relationships cause duh they were too short). We've been together almost four years now the only different thing about this relationship in regards to the other ones is that we have a child and we live together. And don't get me wrong, i'm totally happy with him. Sure there was a few weeks there where things were really tough with me emotionally and i was just drained completely that's when i was really contemplating wandering. i'm just not used to the same person for so long, sometimes you just want something different you know what i mean.
I know i probably wouldn't do anything with anyone but still sometimes you just wonder.
Last night I saw "he's just not that into you". And I totally get the review with women start from when they are little to believe if a man treats you bad then he likes you etc etc and ends with the same false hope thinking that you are the exception to the rule. But you know what WHO CARES, the movie was great. I loved everyone's story lines. They had a little bit of everyone or someone you know in the story. the girl who finds guys online, the married couple, the couple that have been together forever but are not married, the couple who act like one but aren't one because the girl doesn't want to settle, and of course my fav the girl who wants the fantasy and goes about it in a psycho way and the boy who uses women and in the end realizes that he loves the psycho. I LOVED THIS MOVIE!!!!!!! i don't care about reality stuff when i see a movie i see it as a movie and nothing more but i literally watched it two times yesterday and was sad to see it go in the mail this morning. i really want that movie in my collection i could watch justin long and ben affleck all day and night long. Seriously. i want the movie and i want the book and i told my bf that last night. my bday is next saturday let's see if he comes through LOL. probably not hahaha.
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