Tomorrow it's June

Remember me talking about being 28 ... well it's happening in 13 days :-(

I can't believe half the year is over
I can't believe Isabella will be 1 in July
I can't believe I have a kid
I can't believe I got a flat last night I'm so mad
I can't believe it's 9am and I just finished eating a slice of cake it was yummy
I can't believe I will be 28 already, where has the time gone
I can't believe I overslept this morning, bad cathy
I can't believe I'm writing I can't believes

The day of the Rant!

Things I am hating at the moment ...

People who can't drive which is a constant pain in the ass. You know that every time you are in a rush someone has to drive so slow in front of you and then there is a car blocking you on the other side so you can't move to the next lane. And if it's not a slow car it's a freaking truck that doesn't know where they are going. Those things irritate me. Oh and how about the drivers who are scared when they approach trucks, like they will get close but they won't freaking pass them in fear that they are going to suddenly switch lanes and hit them. Grow some fucking balls put ur foot on the gas and freaking pass them already so I can pass them too and then pass you for being a retard.

Something else that pisses me off the lack of sleep that I'm getting. I'm constantly tired and the worst part is sometimes when I'm driving I swear I just want to conk out and call it a day lol. I won't of course cause I don't feel like dying today but yeah very sleepy, I need a vaca just for sleep and then a vaca for fun and then a vaca with the fam. And yes they are ALL very much separate cause you can't have one and the other at the same time it just doesn't work that way haha.

Rumors .. I'm so sick of rumors, apparently it wasn't my boss that was leaving it was the other guy thank god for me but for a good minute i was literally shitting bricks you know what i mean. But it all worked out in the end for now anyway. We'll see what the future will bring.

Periods and the pill piss me off. Having to take it daily at the same time which I rarely do which means is it really that effective cause my period is MIA at the moment, but I have faith that it will come back to me to piss me off cause I want it but then when I get it I don't want it anymore. Isn't that how we are about absolutely everything, that's why that saying is around, "be careful what you wish for because when you get it you might not want it." or however it goes, you get my drift.

Hm what else is pissing me off right now? Oh the fact that my weekends are booked for me without my knowledge like every since I had Isabella now I have to go to family functions because everyone wants to see the baby. OMG leave me alone LOL. Like this weekend I have to go to a shower as if I wouldn't rather be doing something else like going to the Drive In that I've been trying to do forever and a day now since it's opened up again.

That's all for now cause I'm just too tired to write anything else and also I've got like 8 minutes and I'm outta here ... thank goodness for that.

My Weekends ...

always revolve around what Kirk wants to do. It seems that his friends are always doing something. And I really don't mind going there sometimes, but it's like every weekend. I know we should go there just for the mere fact of socializing with people who aren't related to me lol, but sometimes I just want Kirk to take the baby and let me scrap a whole day. I mean there are sooo many things that I want to get done but he just doesn't help and doesn't let me. Usually I have to wait till after 10 when she's asleep and I can try and get some stuff done, but it ain't easy that's for sure. One day it will happen, I have faith in that hehe I just don't think it's anytime soon. Maybe I should go to one of those retreats or something. But then I know I will forget something and wish I was home to get it. Plus I hate going places like that (social gatherings) alone, it's just not me. I need a crutch.

Anyway this weekend was a little rainy on Saturday but I really wanted to take Isabella to the carnival that they have every year, so we couldn't go because of rain. But, Sunday was absolutely beautiful. We didn't go, we went to his friends house. Figures. One day I'll be able to take her, maybe in two years haha. Let's see what happens next weekend, because it's a long weekend, YIPEE to Memorial weekend!!!! Cause I hear the pool calling my name. (it better be f'n nice outside lol)

My almost 28 ramblings

In less than a month I will be turning 28. If you were to have asked me when I turned 21 if my life would be where it is at right now I'd probably have to say no. Not that my life is extremely horrible at the moment, but it's not where I thought I would be. I thought I would have my own place be married and have a kid, (ok yes I have a kid, yes I don't want to get married right now, and yes I'm still living at home lol) and I thought I would be really happy with absolutely everything. In reality I think I am truly happy even though I'm constantly pissy about something, I may not have as much money as I wished I had, but I'm not struggling. I may still live in my tiny room with my boyfriend and our baby, but it's enough for me and him right now at this point in our lives with our financial situations. I think if we ever move out it will be into a house somewhere. As me when I turn 30 if I'm living in that house I've been dreaming about. Right now I'm just pretty much going through the motions and hoping everything works out for the best. But still 28, 2 yrs closer to the big 30, it's bad enough I'm checking the next box you know. I still feel like I'm 21 (not younger cause then I couldn't drink legally lol, we all know how I love my long islands when we go out). Anyways in less than a month I will be 28. My daughter will be 1 in a little less than 2 mnths. Life goes so quickly it really does pass you by. Cherish every moment you get, cause you never know when it will be the last.

More Rumors run Amuck

So someone asked the receptionist if my boss was still here, which he is. But pretty much if he's not here then I'm not here, you know cause I work for him. Now I'm actually worried. What the fuck am I going to do? No one is telling me nothing. There have been many closed doors lately, I'm literally in fear of losing my job. And I don't know where or what I would do if I had to leave. I don't like starting new. Thursday there is a company wide conference call. I will be on it. Even though I know they will probably not tell the truth because all business people are liars, and I'm at the bottom of the work totem pole. I'm just an employee and nothing else.

Time to start Looking?

So one of the managers gave his two weeks notice last week. Today he passes the receptionist and slips her a note that says, "Don't wait till the last minute", last week the rvp of sales gives his notice and he left, two weeks before that a differnet manager gave his notice and also left. So now you tell me is there something going on that I don't know about? There are always talks about losing accounts or closing facilities and what not, even a different facility just lost some major business and a lot of people were terminated. So what happens next, are we the next facility to get hit? I just wish someone had the decency and sincerity to tell the employees what is going on. I've been here almost 5 years (sept), I think I deserve the right to know if i should be looking or not but i know it won't happen. I'm kinda scared kinda not cause i have such a big head i dont think they would ever fire me cause i'm too much of an asset. that's what i think in my head, is that reality who knows.

Walking through the Motions

Everyday like clockwork I wake up go to the bathroom do my business, change my clothes and go to work. Most of the time I"ll go home for lunch see my two babies and then come back to work and finish off the day. Then I go back home and take care of my baby (feed her, play with her, change her and put her to sleep) then if I'm lucky I can scrap a little before my boyfriend comes home which I have to have everything cleaned up by then cause he get's mad hehe. Anyway that's a typical weekday, the weekend is slightly different in that there is always something to do. But my life is sometimes very monotonous and it's just irritating me. I really really need a vacation and a change of scenery. I'm thinking of just getting in the car and driving south. We'll stop at places along the way and call it a vacation LOL. leave thursday and come back sunday or something. But of course we have to wait till kirk has vacation cause I'm definitely not doing that myself lol. I need a companion. Maybe I could even talk my mom into watching the baby so we can do this adventure ourselves. Oo maybe we'll go west lol. There are endless opportunities.

I can barely keep my eyes open ... this is me at work half the time with my eyes closed praying that no one sees me because you are not supposed to sleep on the job those are terms for termination. Speaking of jobs, I'm really starting to worry about mines. There are a lot of people who have been here for years in high positions that have been leaving. I don't know what's going on but whatever it is no one is telling me. Big shocker (i say sarcastically), cause I don't really matter in this company I'm just another person filling desk space. That's it. One day they will catch up to me and realize that I really don't do that much work and that I sit here playing on the internet all day. Either on myspace or chatting on yahoo. I'll wait till that day though. I'll find something better to do, maybe a job I can actually enjoy. One day...

Headaches and Turmoil ...

Have you ever gotten one of those unbelievably horrible headaches that are just considered straight out migraines. When your stomach starts to get queasy, standing up to fast makes your head pound a million times. When the mere thought of doing absolutely anything at all is just too much work. That's what happened to me yesterday, it was horrible. Thank god my mother was there and could take care of Isabella cause I was dying. I took like 6 Motrin and NOTHING. I still have small remnants of a headache not so much a migraine. Now on to another subject ...

If you're a guy you might not want to continue reading this lol. For those women who are on the pill. Now lately I've been experiencing periods so damn light that they are almost non existent now it's not necessarily the pill where you are supposed to miss them. So me being a mom already thought shit I'm pregnant, so I took a test and it came out negative. Now it's the second month and still nothing (I still have a couple days to get it but still I should have it) I take another test yesterday and NOTHING. WTF!!! Where did it go, I know I haven't hit menopause I'm not old enough lol. So my . is MIA, but apparently I'm not pregnant. Has this happened to anyone else LOL ... was this TMI for everyone?