I'm Exhausted

So ever since my DTM cousin moved out of the house we've been fixing up that room for my daughter to try and get her out of my room and have her in her own room. It's been a task and a half let me tell you. First so far the room has cost us to fix up around 700 so far ... still more to come I'm sure. But the money isn't the issue I think it's that she keeps waking u p constantly and coming to my room. She's so used to sleeping there that I know it will take a while for her to get used to being on her own in her own room. It's hard ... getting up at 3 or 4 in the morning cause you hear your kid crying in the room next door and you have to go get her cause she's scared. (that's one of her favorite words too .. scared, scared, scared it's adorable but sad of course). So I haven't really been getting much sleep. Neither has Kirk really, and yesterday he came to me talking about switching his hours. I see his point of wanting to be home with us more (we work opposite schedules) but it's hard we just can't afford to pay someone to babysit. It's just not plausible right now. When she gets older and starts going to school then he can work in the morning and we can all be home together at night, but for now it's just not going to happen. It's just the little struggles you have to go through in life before you can have all the good stuff later in life. Right? lol. Anyways I'm tired beyond words. And there is still sooooooooo much to do.

Emotional

Don't you hate when one of your favorite movies is on and you tune to it on the tv and even if it's more than halfway through or maybe even close to finishing and it's the sadest part of the movie and even if you literally JUST turned it on you are completely into it and you start tearing up or get that feeling in your chest the tightening i know you know what i mean LOL. That's it.

i heart movies sooooooooooooooooooo much.

blegh

I haven't written in a minute ... lots of drama at home don't reallyw ant to talk about it. Let's just say isabella finally has her own room and my older bro is dtm. newho it's another boring tuesday. i dont want to be at work i dont want to do work i dont wnat to do nothing right now. and it's not even 9 yet.

Rant#2 - The parttimer

Ok I understand that people have to clear their throats. It's a natural thing just like farting and etc LOL. Not that I believe you should fart in a place of business .. go to the bathroom ok now I'm going completely off topic LOL. Alright so the part timer who sits in front of me (i still call her a temp in my head since she was a temp to hire) anyway she is CONSTANTLY clearing her throat. Like how much shit could u have in there seriously. Get some fucking cough drops, gargle some damn mouthwash do something but fucking clear you're throat already. She is a chronic throat clearer and if I was Seinfeld on a date with her that would be the reason to break up with her (or was it george who did that anywho). Is this an illness this constant throat clearing? What could it be. Just tell her to shut the fuck up already (and maybe answer a phone call or two haha). It's funny cause the receptionist once bought her a bottle of water cause she was doing it so much. And it's not like she doesn't drink anything all day cause she does. She drinks water and coffee... could it be the coffee causing it? I don't know cause I don't drink coffee but someone please help me to shut her the fuck up!!!! Stop clearning your throat. I'm tempted to take my chloraseptic (sp?) and put it on her desk cause I always carry one around just in case u never know when u'll need it. But then again if I give it to her will it fucking work? Cause damnit!!! Clear throat type email clear throat talk on cell phone clear throat check news online from india clear throat fake type work clear throat clear throat clear throat clear throat WTF you're driving me banana's!

Angry Blog

Today I feel extreme anger inside me. You know the type of anger that makes your body feel all tingly and you run through scenarious through your mind and you're just unbelievable angry on the inside with rage on the side lol. I'm just so mad and I don't know why, well I could come up with a couple things but still ... alright fine I'll tell you. I'm angry at the post office for losing shit in the mail I mean how fucking hard is it to get it from point a to point b seriously what the fuck asshole every fucking time u fucking lose one of my fucking orders in the mail i have to fucking redo them and it's not fun at all. Especially when it's after midnight and someone is telling me they still haven't received their shit from January and it's not fucking February. I mailed it, other people got their shit, what the fuck you know. It just angers me that I have to redo something and send it out again into the abyss that is the post office or should i say black hole since shit keeps missing out. I feel like a tard when someone doesn't recieve what they ordered like what am i going to do but fucking resend it ... so that takes time away from me doing whatever and money out of my pocket for your fucking mistake!!!!!!!! Ugh fucking PO i hate them.

I am boycotting

How cool would it be to get those flowers below? Awesome of course but again highly doubtful. My boyfriend is not the most romantic guy out there so I don't think we'll be doing anything at all. I would be shocked if he even got me a card. Oh well it's just another Hallmark day to make money right? I mean do we really need one day to tell people we love them? We should tell people that we love that we love them everyday. Yeah I know the cliche arguements of a person who's not doing anything for v-day lol. Hush! I can vent a little if i want to. I mean nothing sucks more than actually having a valentine but not celebrating the day that's just ridiculous but oh so true. BAHUMBUG TO VALENTINE"S DAY!!!

In other news - i'm hungry LOL. and cold. and don't want to work. and that's it.
what are your thoughts of today? Is it special?

UPDATE:

I came home to find two boxes of chocolates and super cute pj's and a really nice card. Yah for sweet boyfriends who care! He proved me wrong.

Rant #1 -- the parttimer

You haven't been here ALL fucking day .... you come in super late and then all you do is send emails on yahoo and do nothing while i'm trying to work on a 4000+ line report and you can't answer the fuckin phone when it rings .... ANSWER THE FUCKING PHONE is what I want to yell to the and still you just sit there with a blank look on your face doing god knows what and ignore the phone like it's a plague. Fucking part timers UGHHHHH!

Freak Snow Blizzards

Who doesn't love a freak snow blizzard. I mean when you're coming out of Outback and the weather is clear because the snow has passed while you were eating you feel just fine walking all dandy to the car. That is until something goes TWACK! (insert into a cartoony bubble like batman the show) and hits you upside your head you're taken aback a little. Like what the hell I thought Kirk threw snow on me (there was no snow around that I saw mind you) and then more and more and more snow started coming down on us. Kirk ran to the car with Isabella I just stood there and was like la di da what the hell is going on. Kirk snapped this picture of me while he was warm in the car and I was outside freezing my ass off. That's about less than a minute of snow on my mind you.

It was like a freak mini blizzard that lasted all of ten minutes if that, just enough to cover the grass slightly which it melted in no time because then the snow came out. It was just crazy that's never happened to me before. Fun stuff.

So this weekend was very fun filled and full. I have to scan this picture of Isabella later that we took at Chuck E Cheese she looks soooo freakin adorable. Anywho. So friday was Kirk's birthday we went out to the Euro Lounge. It wasn't that full and I am completely not a club person but I went for him because it was his birthday and that's what he wanted to do. It wasn't that packed but there sure were some crazies in there, too funny to watch that's for sure. Got home around 3ish because we stayed till they closed. Had yummy drinks of course. Saturday was a kids day ... we went to my friends kid's birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. I haven't been there since I was like 10 or less and it's def not how I remembered it. There were soooooooooo many kids. And I was highly disappointed that there was no ball pit, isn't that the point of Chuck E Cheese LOL. Well Isabella had a great time she didn't want to leave but of course once we got in the car she knocked out. Then later that night I scrapped my heart away, while Kirk, my brother and my uncle went to a titi bar. I have no clue what happened there and I don't want to know what he did there because then it's just going to anger me LOL. Sunday we went to visit his mom and then went to Van Suan Zoo and then to Outback and again I came home and scrapped my heart out.

Today ... it's monday, nuff said! LOL I'm pretending to work as usual. Kirk is home he says he's sick because he has a cough and a headache therefore he's not going to work. I tell him I'm worse than that and I still go to work. I told him to stop being a pussy. Men have no threshold for pain I swear. But tonight since he's home I'm going to go scrap my little heart away again LOL.

IT's been a minute

Well it feels like it anyway. Today is my boyfriends birthday, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Not that he reads this thing but whatever LOL. His plan is to go out clubbin tonight. I haven't been to a club since I was in college. So this should be interesting to say the least. I'm in a blah mood so I don't really have much to talk about and nothing to vent about. I'm just pms'n!

Super Tuesday

Get out and there and vote if you can and if you can't then get out there and register. Your voice and opinion matters (even if you don't think it does it does). You can go here to Register to Vote. After work I'm going straight to the polls. Always a fun experience. I remember the first time I voted. I locked my keys in the car (along with my cell phone) I had to scrounge people for change to call the house so I could get someone to bring my spare. See always an adventure. Now go vote and get all the facts.

Stab me in the EYE please!

Angry Blog Alert!!

I just had an arguement with my mother. I fucking hate it when I'm trying to discipline my daughter and teach her that she cannot have everything that she wants including running around the house when it's time for her to go to sleep. So I put her on the bed and lay down next to her and I tell her to go to sleep and sure enough she bursts out with a tantrum and starts crying (loudly and so absolutely fake but loud none the less and very over dramatic which is her new skill), She does this a couple times. Stopping chilling and then I tell her to go to sleep and out come the crocodile tears. Well my mom walks in and she's like come on baby let's go, I tell her I'm trying to disipline her and she's not helping any by taking her away. So she responds she's crying too much (this from a person that when she was smaller would tell me oh it's ok let her cry she needs to cry sometimes can we say hypocritical I THINK SO!!!). So she takes her away and I start ranting fine take her away why don't you take the crib too and put it in your room and she closes her door and I slam my door close (yes I know that was childish but I was pissed). I was so angry I could literally punch a hole in the wall and it not hurt me. Anywho she comes back two seconds later telling me where is her pacifier (me being more childish) I don't know ask your grandaughter she took it with her. My mom then continues to tell me to stop acting like a kid. I'm just so mad that people are always telling me to do things and raise my kid one way and not to do certain things. But when they do it's ok, like WTF!!! Ugh so fucking frustrated I hate that shit. I'm just so mad and Isabella is throwing too many tantrums to keep letting her be that way because then before you know it she's going to be impossible and spoiling her is not going to help. Alright I'm done I have a really big headache. Oh wait and Kirk called me like 2 minutes after the arguement with my mother and I yell at him after tellin him what my mother did I told him he isn't any better, the he never fucking helps when he needs to. Like this weekend all I wanted to do was scrap one day that's it. He couldn't even watch her I had to watch her and scrap at the same time. He's impossible, and he never wakes up in the morning all he does is sleep and it's just not fair that I have to wake up at seven in the morning when I go to sleep around one or two am. And I don't nap like he does. Not to mention it's rare that I sleep throughout the whole night. It just angers me that he can't help me and maybe just fucking maybe let me sleep a little and then I won't be so stressed out and just like I'm going to break down at any moment. Ok I'm done I'm going to TRY and go to sleep early and just forget about everyone and everything!

30 hrs Please?!?

I wish there more hours in the day to do more things. I wish I had more time for my love of scrapbooking. I wish I had more time to sleep. I wish i had more time with Kirk and Isabella together other than just on weekends. Maybe I should have titled this blog as I wish LOL. There are so many projects that are on my mind that I just need to find the time to do. I really need to get my sewing machine back from my friend. She's had it long enough and I don't even really think she's even used it. Oh well either way I'm taking it back. I have some projects I want to get completed and for that to happen I need my sewing machine. There are so many brilliant ideas out there that I'm dying to try out but never find the time to do it and if I finally do have some time I have to do something else and don't have enough to do everything I want to do.

I got so busy doing other things that I forgot I was doing this blog ... SEE WHAT I MEAN!!! HAHA!

I'll never get everything I want to complete completed, it's impossible, but I will keep trying. I'm not a big football fan so I'm hoping I can scrap all day Sunday! Cross fingers, and GO GIANTS! (just cause I'm originally from NY haha)!