100 Things About Me

I'm just copying everyone and am completely bored at work:


100. I've never been to a wedding
99. a funeral
98. a proper like on tv slumber party
97. I hate my job, seriously
96. I watch TV and movies all day at work
95. I don't like animals (look at yes, touch not too sure, take care of no way)
94. I never thought I would have a kid, now I do, and can't imagine life otherwise
93. a rose still smells like itself if it wasn't a rose
92. thank god I wasn't born in earlier times of the corset, I like breathing normal
91. My favorite boots have holes in them, overworn
90. People in general piss me off.
89. the quiet freaks me out
88. I am afraid of the dark
87. Spiders are bad creatures, I've been bitten twice
86. Sex is important
85. What's life without technology?
84. Secretly, I flip off my cousin in hopes that she will catch me one day.
83. I have never heard of a HOT TODDY <-- for amy and kristi, weirdos
82. Customer Support people suck ass!
81. I heart Coke
80. I hate Passover, not for what it stands but for the amount of work I have to do for the holiday (specialty food business)
79. I have a headache
78. Christmas is around the corner, I feel like I haven't bought enough stuff for everyone
77. My credit card was declined (I've reached my limit)
76. Scrapaholics Anonymous - Hello my name is "" and I'm a Scrapaholic
75. For some reason, most days never feel like their actual day
74. I don't really like surprised
73. Spain is my next BIG adventure (one day)
72. Phones are evil evil things, I just don't like them
71. Christmas Shoppers are possessed, I'm not one of them
70. My tummy won't stop growling for some good grub
69. I miss being pregnant
68. Pizza will always be my favorite "fast food"
67. Secretly, I long to disappear
66. I have scars everywhere
65. The most orgasmic feeling is when you have an itch and you can scratch it
64. I live vicariously through other people, for fear that if I live in the moment I will have to deal with all the consequences.
63. Talking to myself in my head is better than saying words out loud that will get me in trouble, always
62. Born in NY, I know nothing about it, I'm a jersey girl at heart
61. Sex and the City is a great show, but do people really live like that?
60. I have a sister who I lost touch with, and we email but we haven't seen each other face to face in almost 15 years
59. I was in love with my childhood friends brother for nine years, he asked me if I liked him, I said no. Now he has been divorced twice, and has two kids from two different woman, I'm glad neither are me
58. Road rage is a part of my life, I won't get out and hit you with a bat or anything but you can guarantee that I'm cursing you out in my car for being so slow in the fast lane
57. I hate it when the vending machine takes your money and doesn't give you anything in return (I just lost $1.00 trying to get pretzels)
56. I love gossip blogs, real life blogs, scrap blogs, blogs in general I love them all!
55. I don't ever remember a time when I believed in Santa Claus, ever.
54. My harddrive died and I lost everything that was on it, make sure you back up everything. I learned that the hard way ...
53. I learn everything the hard way, that's what my mom always tells me
52. Trust, it's a big deal for me and I don't give it lightly
51. I'm hungry
50. Bread is my weakness, I love bread
49. There just aren't enough hours in the day to complete everything you want to do
48. When we were younger my brother hit me in the head with a wooden paddle, I fainted, he thought I died.
47. When I was pregnant all I wanted to eat was Pizza and Ice Cream
46. In my young wilder days, I had three dates in one day. One for Brunch, Lunch and Dinner haha (I didn't have three meals)
45. Chocolate is a godsend
44. This girl gave me a present for Christmas, I haven't opened it yet, she's a coworker. I didn't even think about getting her gift, and I probably never will.
43. Movies, Tv, even commercials sometimes makes me cry, it's sad how sensitive I am.
42. My friend wanted to see some fish in the brook behind the park by my old house, we went and had to jump over the brook ... I slipped on a rock and I still have the scar on my leg.
41. Desperately I need to wash my hair, shave my legs and color my hair too
40. I love snuggling under the covers and watching movies all night long
39. I have to sleep with the radio on, the quiet freaks me out completely
38. Sitting poolside or swimming in the pool is what I like to do all summer, I never want to get out of the water
37. I've been to three countries so far ... Canada, Italy and Dominican Republic.
36. I've lived in Florida, NJ and NY
35. Right now my fingers are so cold I can barely feel them, when is summer coming back?
34. I haven't had a good lunch in a while, or breakfast for that matter. Being broke doesn't help.
33. Sarcastic attitude is how I keep my days enjoyable and funny. It runs in the family
32. I remember being around 5 running to the corner store and buying Swedish fish for a nickle for a single one.
31. Also when I was five and in kindergarten, my mom just got her license and started driving this really crappy car. When she would pick me up from school I almost fell out of the car twice when she started pulling off (I'm talking dangling out the door with my hand on the door trying not to fall to the floor, I guess I didn't close the door all the way.
30. Sometimes I have to go to the bathroom but I'm too lazy to get up, so I'll wait till I have to do the pee pee dance.
29. Sometimes I get so mad and frustrated that I want to punch a wall in
28. I'm so antsy sometimes and don't want to stay still, like right about now I'm dying to go home.
27. I miss sleeping in, I don't remember the last time I slept past 8. I miss it dearly.
26. I haven't had a drink in a while, I think the last time was for my Birthday in June.
25. I have a half brother, and half sister both from my father, one before and one during the marriage to my mother
24. My cousin and her two kids live with us, because she was trying to get away from her gay husband and start a new life. It's been over year it's time for her to move on and out!
23. I hate having to say good morning to everyone who passes me buy in the morning, I mean what's so good about it if I'm stuck at work with you fools?
22. I get so mad sometimes, cause I wonder what am I doing wrong, why won't my Etsy shit sell lol
21. My galbladder was removed
20. I wish I was a doctor, or a dentist they make so much damn money
19. I refuse to give my kid false hope, does that make me a bad parent that I won't tell her something is good when it isn't?
18. I suck at math, I try but it's boring
17. I hate the word I, not the letter just the word I this I that I me I I I I
16. If I dirty something and make it look really used can I call it vintage?
15. Money, why does it exist, I don't have it, I hate it
14. I wish I could be one of those artsy type girls, who wear funky clothes and hats and glasses, we all know the type. The kind that dance to their own tune.
13. If I could I would leave right now, but I can't, so I won't
12. The day I lost my virginity was also the first day I didn't come straight home from school, when I got home my mom slapped me and called me a whore, and all I think is how does she know!
11. My first boyfriend had a gold tooth, was "supposedly" in a gang, and in the dark when he smiled all you saw was the tooth shining. I'll never live that one down.
10. When we lived in florida we (me and my brothers) used to sneak out of the bathroom door that led tot he backyard and we'd jump into the pool. That is until my mom would come out and yell for us to get out (it was always after ten)
9. In college I had these boots, I loved them, they weren't timberlands they were Lugz which lets face it they sorta look the same. Anytime I wore them my white friend would call me a thug. So now to him I'm considered as Cathy the Thug.
8. If boobs seem to skip a generation in my family then my daughter should have big ones like my mom, hopefully not too big.
7. I always think my boyfriend is cheating on me. So I try to give him what he wants as much as possible so he doesn't want to go out and get it somewhere else.
6. If I could I'd probably ramble in blogs all day long about the most rambling nonesense I could think of.
5. I punched one of my cousins before over another cousin, they were always arguing about who was going to hang out with me, she took it too far so I corrected it.
4. I remember wearing a yellow frilly type dress and standing outside my duplex in Jersey City when I was like 5 and learning to ride a bike.
3. In my head I'm already on vacation, now my body just needs to catch up.
2. I wouldn't know how I would be if he ever left me, I'd be beyond heartbroken, as much as I throw him out all the time (he never goes of course), I dont think I could live without him.
1. I can't believe it took me almost a week to write 100 things about me, who knew it would be so hard.

Bahumbug

I'm so ready for Christmas to be over. Thank god we are opening the presents on Friday and just getting it done and over with before our trip to Florida. Which will definitely be an interesting one that's for sure. We're driving down there (18 hours if we went straight but who ever goes directly lol). There will be a lot of stopping and one very cranky kid that's for sure. Hopefully it will go smoothly. Just have to bring tons and tons of toys lol. Anyways I'm at work and I'm so ready to go home already. It's not even 11 yet bahumbug!

Long time no blog

I don't usually blog in here because I've tried focusing on my scrap blog a little more. But today I feel like blogging here. I've got tons to rant about.

1. I'm sick, I hate being sick, I hate the feeling of sick, I hate the medicine taking, coughing, throat hurting sick. I feel like I have something stuck in my throat and I can't get it out. It's a horrible feeling, and I hate it. I just dislike being sick. The body feeling completely run down and inoperable, the having to suffer through a long work day. It sucks completely and utterly. I've already gone through a whole bottle of medicine and I'm not cured yet. Within time I will get there ... I hope.

2. This year we are going to Florida for Christmas. Last year we threw our Christmas tree out because it wouldn't spin anymore. So this year we've decided not to put one up. In a way it's good because Isabella won't tear it apart but I miss our tree, we always have a tree. The house is so lonely without one :-(

3. My hard drive died on Turkey day ... lost everything. Will have to wait for me to get my taxes so that I can see if I can recover the data. Because it's going to cost quite a bit for sure. I'm super bummed because all my fabulous pictures are on there.

4. My cousin hasn't left yet, she needs to bounce out of the house already. Every time we go get pizza we get apartment books and put it on her bed. She hasn't said anything but we need to keep doing it, she needs hints!

5. I've lost my train of thought because this blog is taking too long and there are just too many interruptions lol

California Dreaming ...

... Dream come true, the time has come. California I'm coming back to explore you! And I'm so excited because this time around there won't be any awkward first meetings, (well that's not true but for the most part), there will be NO SNOW DELAYS!!!!!, there will be NO TOOTHACHES!!!!!!, there will only be fun fun fun! Maybe someone will "flash" a truck driver again ha ha, that was too funny. I'm excited to see the people I speak to everyday, I'm excited to finally have the peace and quiet and uninterrupted chance to finally scrap, I'm excited to get away for a while. Sometimes you just have to take a break from reality and live in the wonderment of someone else. This seems to be turning into a yearly tradition as this is the second time in a row, and I in no doubt don't want this not to be a tradition (did that make sense?). I love having something to look forward to yearly that is particularly and solely for myself and my needs and relaxation. I'm surely going to miss my babies (plural Kirk counts too especially now that he's a little bit under the weather), but this is a much needed rejuvenation. Maybe it will calm me down a little and not let me get so mad at him, he just doesn't think sometimes that's all. But anyway .... California here I come or in the infamous words of Biggie (EAST SIDEEE!!!) I'm going going back back to Cali Cali!!!!

Brit Brit

You know honestly I really feel for the girl, I think that media has made her the way she is today and all this drama, maybe she does enjoy it and that's why she does it but I just don't understand it. The girl can't even take her kids out for a few minutes without cameras flashing every second. I think everyone should just leave her alone for a while (and no I'm not saying it like Chris Crocker's Leave Britney Alone video). I just feel bad for her, being a mother I couldn't imagine my life without my kid, and to have your kids taken away from you has to just be some major damage to you emotionally. I think she is just really messed up and doesn't know what to do or how to do it ... she needs to go on that show intervention (but don't publicize it, just do it on the DL). I just wanted to say that since there is so much drama in the papers and what not because her kids got taken away. Leave her alone for a while and maybe she'll fix her self up. Hopefully.

I hate when ...

... people say things at the most inappropriate time that is completely uncalled for and unnecessary, i.e. when someone points some bad quality about yourself and then continues how they are complete opposite and better. I mean if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. I really don't need to hear the opinion of someone who doesn't matter to me, but it still bothered me.

... rumors at work grow more and more, and you know absolutely nothing because no one talks to you at work. When someone calls you and says so what do you think about all the rumors (not knowing all of them you say ... oh i just ignore them) of course i just ignore them cause i don't know them!

... when someone tells you one thing and then does the opposite. For example monkey does what monkey sees but doesn't do themselves .. i forget the saying so that's another thing i hate lol.

... i miss phone calls

... people yell at me for not calling them, the phone works both ways there buddy!

... the tv says one thing is playing and you turn it on and it's another thing

... lists ends cause i can't think of anything else to say

Rumorville

SO NOW the word around the office is that we may be bought out by someone and that one of our major accounts is up in the air and will be known next week if we still have that account or not. MInd you that is the account I do the most work for hmmmmmmmm .... we'll see what happens i guess. Hopefully only good things. I hope we are bought out by a company that is a million times better then cheap ass company that it is now (cross fingers for good news and hope)!!!

Life is so Unfair

I need some friends or something. Why is it that Kirk can go out all the time while I'm stuck at home. My days off I was at home doing nothing stuck, while he slept all damn day then went to work. Life is never fair in the least but c'mon now. Think of something that we can do together or something why does it always have to be me planning things. I just really feel like getting in my car and just running away for a while.

Boredom

bore·dom [bawr-duhm, bohr-] – noun
the state of being bored; tedium; ennui.

I'm so unbelievably bored it's just unbelievable haha. I'm so ready to go home. I literally have absolutely nothing to do and that's that. I'm at work doing absolutely nothing I can't even think of something to do so I had to come and blog and tell you how bored I was and just let the words flow out of my mouth. This weekend we have a birthday party to go to that should be fun hopefully. I dont know I'm ready for a vacation. At least I'm taking next friday off so maybe I'll find something to do. Hopefully cause I don't want to be stuck at home like I usually am. We'll see I'm just ready to disappear for a good minute from my life.

Arguements, Lies, Annoyances

This weekend specifically yesterday there was a lot of discussion surrounding my cousin and my brother. A lot of arguments back and forth. And I just really tried to stay out of it cause I know I would say some seriously hurtful things. My mom tells my brother one thing and backtracks and tells my cousin a different scenario. She was going to leave yesterday because she didn't feel welcomed anymore. I wanted to scream go home to your mother or your gay husband, you have no business being here, it's been over a year and you are still in the same situation. It's not as if she has shit loads of bills to pay you know. But whatever, I don't even want to discuss it I just want to ignore it and keep doing what I've been doing living my life and just blah to everyone else. Me and my older brother have never had a close relationship, why should that change now. I haven't liked her here since day one, why should that miraculously change, and my lil bro doesn't like her much either so I"m not alone on this boat. But we're sailing now because I just don't care anymore.

Karmic Decapitation

So I come into work normally, last week me and my friend were talking about how one of the managers is always calling people out and if they get hurt she doesn't believe that they are truly hurt enough not to work (even though they probably are). Well today my friend comes up to me and says did you hear what happened to so and so this morning. Of course no one really talks to me here but her so I was like no. Sure enough that manager got hurt this morning. I don't know how or why it happened but it happened. She went to open a door or something and her right thumb was cut off. Now is this Karma, I would say so. After her constantly saying things about other employees it has finally happened to her in return, it's totally ironic and I love it. Am I happy and laughing that her thumb was decapitated, perhaps but not for the reason that she was hurt but more for the reason that what comes around really does go back around. I believe that philosophy completely. So sad, so funny and so unbelievably true. We shall she what happens now since they rushed her to the emergency room with her thumb. I'm sure they will be able to reattach it. Will keep you updated as information comes in.

Oh the Woe's

The woes of work, someone was RIF'd today, a supervisor no less. (RIF=reduction in workforce) I don't even think he was expecting it so suddenly as it was. And it's only Thursday I mean they usually do those kind of things on a Friday. That almost leads me to believe that it could be possible that tomorrow someone else could go as well. Who, that's a good question because if a supervisor could be kicked out then surely any of the admins can be too. We'll see what happens tomorrow I guess. I did however send my email to this guy who wanted me last year, actually I should probably check my email to see if he's emailed me back yet. I just really want to get out of there before they kick me out. I mean in my mind I don't think they would because I'm the only one who does my job at my location, but rumors have been told to me that they are trying to eliminate my position to give it to someone in the corporate office. Now that's not fair because it's not my fault that the people in the corporate offices can't keep their accounts satisfied and they keep moving on to competitors so because of that the people in locations that are doing good have to be rif'd just because the people who are by the president need to keep their jobs... f' that that's def not fair. But whatever, I want to get out before they try and kick me out and they can offer m more money if they want but I will not keep it. I need to get out. I can't constantly live in fear that today is the day that I will be fired. No thank you!!! Fear is not a way to live. Alright enough about this i'm so over them totally. I need a complete new start.

Alone

So this weekend I'm pretty much on my own with Isabella. Today for example Kirk left to Pennsylvania around twoish with a coworker, mind you he hasn't called me yet to let me know if he got there and it's almost ten at night. Nice of him right, at least when I went to California I called him. So if he calls I will refuse to answer for his lack of consideration. I'll see him when he gets back on Monday. Everyone went to NY today. I would love to have gone causes that would have been awesome for some great picture taking, but alas I didn't because strolling around NYC with a one year old in a stroller all day is just NOT fun, so I stayed back. So it's been a blah day and it will for sure be a blah weekend. It's all good I get to do things I used to do like watch lifetime all day or something hahah ... like i'm doing now. anywho i'm bored with this blog, maybe i'll consider scrapping or something.

2 days off

So i took thursday and friday off to relax and just do whatever. Yesterday I did nothing really well I did get a chance to go to Michaels to buy some stuff and I finally took Isabella to get blood drawn for the first time. What an interesting situation that was. I didn't take pictures to scrap it cause that would just be weird but I did get it with her bandaid on and they gave her a cute sticker which I'll for sure use. other than that i didn't do anything, and then today i did even less. i was bored. I scrapped a little but i'm just really bored. i wish the weather was more nicer then i would definetly have gone somewhere. but it wasn't o i didn't. tomorrow supposedly me and kirk will again try to go to the drive in, we haven't made it there this summer yet. but i really want to see mr bean and the bourne ultimatum. hopefully we will make it and everything will be all good, cross your fingers for me! Well it's been blah my life is like clockwork, wake up go to work come home for lunch go back and go back to work and then come back home take care of isabella and that's about it. my routine is boring, blah. that's it.

it's been a minute

I haven't blogged in a while, i know such a slacker. lots of things going on and haven't been home much and work is just well unbelievably busy. I love being busy but i hate the damn rumors, keep ur resume updated someone tells me. I mean come on now just stop the rumors and give me some freaking facts!!! This weekend the fam is planning a trip to baltimore should be interesting and fun hopefully. can't wait to get away but you know that just means less sleep. i wanted to take monday off but my boss' father in law passed away on monday so he's mia and i don't have anyone ot approve. which really sucks because i so need a day. if he doesn' approve by tomorrow before I leave then i'll just get my email back and tell him to forget it. then i'll take next thur and fri off. which would be better. i just need some rest and relaxation. maybe i'll take isabella out somewhere who knows. we'll see what happens. but yeah i've just been busy busy busy. hopefully i'll have more to blog on soon.

Movies

I love them ... all kinds!! Horror, Indie, Comedy, Romantic, Life Stories, Mystery, Thriller. You name it I love it. And I get sooo into the movie every time I watch it. I feel for the people in movies and it's just a beaufitul thing for you to get lost for two hours in someone else's life that isn't your own. To see that there are people out there that are worse off than you, or better than you and that there are things that you can accomplish if you try. Yesterday I saw The Host (foriegn film) it was great, of course I don't think it's plausible to have a sea creature that is mutated into some giant monoster that eats people, but none the less it was extrtemely entertaining. Then I saw the Departed, with Jack Nicholson, Matt Damon, Leonardo DiCaprio, Martin Sheen and Mark Wahlberg to name a few people that were in the movie. I stayed up till two in the morning to finish watching that movie which was fabulous. I loved every minute of it.

Ramblings

Why is it that everytime I'm driving someone always feels the need to cut in front of me and then go super slow, I mean not just once but like a million times a day. It's really and truly annoying, I curse drivers out constantly. Moterfucker is my favorite word of choice, that or bastards, or even Jeebus! Then you're all mad because people keep cutting you off and you're just so angry then someone let's you go first, and you're like man that makes up for all the shitty drivers out there. Well it helps a little in lessening (is that right spelling) of the bad drivers.

I'm at work right now just procrastinating because I really don't want to work. It's Friday and it's just blah and I've been sooo busy all damn week that I just needed a break today. Of course it's the day that they are laying off people, I know someone who left, I have no idea who else they are getting rid of. As long as it isn't me then I'm fine. Or my one friend in the company ahha. Then that would really suck because then I would have NO ONE here to clear my sanity. They should get rid of the part timer, who right now is in India on vacation. You tell me who would let you go for a month without pay not taking leave being a part timer and not being her that Long for you to even have vacation time. But then again you're a part time so there is no vacation time. I swear if me or my friend requested to take a month off to go to our respective countries to visit our families it just would never be approved but for her it was probably approved almost immediately. Life really isn't' fair at all. And I feel sorry for the people who believe that in due time their time will come. You have to make it come otherwise it won't.

Tuesday

You know I just have to write on Tuesday cause well it's tuesday what else is there to do? I actually have a lot of work to do so i've been super busy and of course i've been trying to keep up with BB8, if you don't know what that is then don't worry about it haha. I've been sorta busy sorta not, this past weekend was just boring, nothing to do just shopped. Oh yeah i got caught in a rain storm, that was fun especially when i started to run and my flip flop broke so we had to run back to the car. OH fun times!!!! i love spending time with kirk alone maybe we'll go out this saturday and do something alone. it's been a minute ya know.

Dreams ...

I'm so bored that right now I'm typing this just so that I can pretend to have some work to do even though I really don't have any work to do I'm just making it seem like I'm doing work when in reality I'm just writing this blog out. I feel that antsy I need to get the hell out of here or I'm going to go insane feeling. Do you guys feel that way? lol I do ALL the time.

Have you ever thought of all the places you really want to go to here's a few and why of what I want to see before I go away:

Spain - no particular area but for sure Barcelona, checking out the running of the bulls, the beaches and what not

Greece - Mykonos Islands (cause I saw it on dont laugh sisterhood of the travelling pants, one of the girls went there and it looks so pretty), all the white houses and what not, would be super pretty for sure.

Brazil - but then i saw that movie touristas and yeah i'm too scared to go there now hahahah

San Francisco - i want to go to alcatraz, see the gg bridge, the windy road etc etc

Texas - i want to see cowboys and see someone riding a bull, go to a rodeo and check out the country like people ha ha

I'll update more, I actually got some real work to do blah

Random Thoughts

1. What do you do with the hand your not using when your driving? I know most people do not drive with their two hands (that's odd in this day and age) but for those that don't what do you do with your extra hand? Me personally I drive with my right hand, and then the left sometimes I just don't know what to do with it. It just kind of lays there limp on the arm rest against the door. Sometimes I've noticed lately that it curls up like a little cripple hand (no offense to the handicap please) but have you ever seen scary movie and Chris Elliot's hand is deformed and tiny compared to his normal hand. Yeah that's what I feel like my hand goes like, how weird is that lol, it's funny cause i fold it like a lobster claw and I don't realize it, but when I do I make sure to stretch my hand open lol. I told you it indeed was a major random thought.

2.why can't we all have the same time, it will just be darker in some areas then other at a certain time. Like seriously who came up with time zones (I say this mind you because I'm bored and everyone on the west coast is still sleeping while everyone on the east coast is wide awake with almost half their day through.)

3. why do people find the need to say good morning to everyone that crosses their path, could everyone but me be a morning person? i hate when they say that i just reply morning cause in no way shape or form is it a good morning considering I'm stuck in this hell whole we call work with you so please don't say good morning i may just nod my head and grunt something strange who knows lol

Another Tuesday

It always seems that I have time on a Tuesday to blog, cause if you've read the others I always think this is a nothing day and it still hasn't changed. This weekend we're going to the balloon festival, should be fun for isabella for sure. Can't wait to see her reactions to the balloons. Her godmother is coming too so that's an extra added bonus cause it's always nice to have more people come and experience it with us. Hopefully we'll make it to the drive in that night too. Hopefully, who knows maybe we'll get to go to the pool after the balloon thingy, I'm sure we'll be hot enough for it haha.

I completely lost my train of thought cause I went and started watching youtube videos, man those ppl are weird but i'm not knocking them cause they sure are interesting to watch sometimes. haha. so since i lost my train of thought i'm going to move on and do something else cause i dont know what else to write about.

UPDATED:
I didn't want to start another blog when I can just continue from the one I started earlier but lost my thought. Right now it's 12:17, I wish I worked half a day cause that would mean that I could go home in less than 45 minutes and call it a day. But we all know that I can't afford to work part time. You ever notice how when you're at work you can be so exhausted and tired, sleepy and just groggy. But the second you get out of work you feel fine again, like everything is fabulous. I dont know if anyone else feels like that but i know i do. it's as if you are depressed when at work and the minute u get out of work a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders and you can breathe again. And have you ever felt like you just can't keep still while at work, like your antsy and irritated at the same time. Excited and angry and just all kinds of emotions at the same time that you don't know what to do with yourself. That's me most of the time. Blah

Tagged

I've been tagged by Melissa!!!



So since I can't really tag her back and she tagged most of the people I would have tagged ... here are the ones sitting at the "loser" table haha (BTC Rules!!):

1. Jenni
2. Amy
3. Misty

Such a Slacker

That would be me. I haven't blogged in over a week such a bad girl I am ...

So more updates on the job now they are saying that another facility lost more business and because of that the whole company is being restructured many people have already lost their jobs and many positions have been changed. Sure enough they are saying that five more people need to leave from my facility... who? they don't know yet or at least that's what they are claiming. I honestly don't know what I'm still doing there I'm way over qualified, bored with it, and hate the majority of the people that work there. I am just too chicken to leave and I'm just too lazy and comfortable to attempt to look for another job. Like I don't want to start over again, but I know it will happen one day. And they may make that decision for me just a little bit earlier than I'm comfortable with. So even if I don't get to have the same perks I have now I will definitely have to reconsider my position and put my resume out there. I can't keep thinking every single month that who knows if I will have a job the next day. I can't live like this I have too many bills for this to happen to me. So I will toughen up and get my name out there.

Isabella's party went fabulous and if you know my myspace page then you should def check out the pictures, I didn't put much cause i just don't want random people's faces out there ya know haha. so everyone had a good time and nothing bad happened. Even saw people i haven't seen in ages which was always a good thing. as for me personally i'm doing alright can't complain i guess. Just a little tooo addicted to big brother I think, with the live feeds, the showtime feeds, and then the regular show I feel like I'm almost watching the show all day and all night haha, so bad i know but i'm addicted. i wish i could be a fly on many a wall, it just happens to be in their walls instead. anyways it's almost midnight so i'm off to sleep and hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

exhaustion, that's what I feel. I need a day of rest and relaxation ... will I get it? Probably not. I think even if I take a day off Kirk will take advantage of it and he will SLEEP all morning and afternoon instead of me. It's not fair really. I hate it. Why do I have to be the responsible why can't someone else take all my responsibility just for a little bit. I just need some time for me and myself and maybe even I. Like I was literally tearing up with tiredness, anger, exhaustion and frustration this morning. I woke up late and had fifteen minutes to do everything I needed to do in the morning. Isabella woke up and Kirk was just sleeping. I'm like c'mon help me out a little. I desperately need a day off. What day should I take off? Maybe I'll take Friday off and just blah you know. We'll see what happens.

... Untitled ...

I have tons of things going around in my head and don't even know where to begin. Tomorrow is Isabella's 1st Birthday Party. Lots to do and never enough time to do it, it just so happens it falls on the week that i have mucho bills to pay .. I seriously can't spend any money this week like at all I'm so unbelievably broke I'm contemplating a second job. But I'm not sure I could go get one considering it's bad enough Kirk works at night and I work during the day. Whatever about money I'm so tired of it. I mean there are so many things you want to buy but you can't I just really hate that feeling. I have to help setting up tonight and tomorrow, it's just going to be busy busy busy, hopefully Isabella will behave. I don't even know what to blog about right now I'm just rambling in my head and letting the words come out as I'm thinking them. Sometimes you just need to let all your thoughts out and call it a day you know. It's friday I wish I wasn't working I probably should have taken the day off but I want a couple days to go out and do something. I'm hoping Kirk has vacation finally so we can go and do something but then I have to think about Christmas time and if we can get away depending on his amount of days off I mean we could always do long weekends and come back early on Monday so he can go back to work but blah to that you know who wants to go to work on a Monday after a long weekend. Alright I'm going to go play online or something and just surf the Internet cause I'm bored and have no work to do.

Bad Tuesdays!

Seriously there has to be something about this day, cause I always get super bored on Tuesdays. I mean Mondays are usually busy, Wednesdays it's a hump day and just that much closer to Friday, Thursday even closer to friday so close you can taste it and then glorious Friday! Saturday and Sunday are given that they are fabulous days, but Tuesday, it's ignored because it's so boring. Movies and music come out on this day, which that just reminded to me update my netflix queue with this weeks new arrivals haha. But at work on Tuesdays it's just flat out boring with nothing to do but good around online and even then sometimes it gets boring, like how many times can you search for one thing. Blah for Freakin Tuesdays.....

p.s. my eyelid won't stop twitching, it feels weird

p.s.s. for those who know don't worry i got an eye doc appointment on thursday to get rid of these year old contacts haha.

My week at work ...

Has been spent watching movies, literally watching movies. I think I'm averaging about 3 a day that's how bored I am. There are no managers here and it's just super quiet and there is nothing to do. So I bring my movies, cause honestly how long could you spend searching online for the same shit lol. I'm actually attempting to accomplish some work today, we'll see how long that lasts haha.

Blahness

It's Humpday Wednesday and I have nothing to rant about ... yet!
Yesterday was a relatively okay day .. I got a lot accomplished at home (scrappywise) and feel honky dorey today. I'm going to watch Mean Girls in a few cause there are no managers in my office this week and I freakin love it!! I just had a pb&j sandwich which I have been addicted to lately and it was super yummy. Ok let me go pretend to work, I'll come back on if there is actually something to rant about haha.

Interrupt Much!!

So I'm talking to two coworkers about the current movies that are out, I went and saw 1408 this weekend which I thought was one of the best movies I've seen in a while. Then we were talking about Evan Almighty how I said that I heard the reviews were not good on them. One coworker was like oh yeah that's the one with Moses blah blah blah I said no it's with Noah but don't worry they will probably make Moses next haha. Sure enough this guy in his office yells out "Moses used to work here, I saw him this weekend!" Yes a guy named moses used to work here but NO we were not talking about him nor did we appreciate you interrupting the conversation to give us your thought and then put a whole convo together about your weekend. No one asked you about your weekend, no one mentioned your name let alone looked in the direction of your office to inspire a thought from your nasty mouth, no we didn't ask for your quip about your weekend, no we weren't talking about that moses. Talk about listening in on people's conversations. I think all three of us, our mouths dropped at the audacity he had to cut into our conversation to make it all about him. i swear he is a real MOFO!!!

Just Breathe

I swear to you this lady at work is going to drive me insane, she sends me emails to do things for her that she could have done in the time she took to type out the email and send it ... for example

i.e.
i sent her new item forms that didn't have costs in our system yet. I filled absolutely everything out and left the cost blank, that's it just the cost. Can you explain why she sends me an email to let me know that the costs are up and can you fix the sheets. BITCH IF U GET OFF UR FUCKIN PHONE AND STOP CALLING EVERYONE FUCKIN BRUJITA, BIOTCH THEN MAYBE U WOULD REALIZE HELLO I CAN DO THAT MY FUCKIN DAMN SELF NO BUT I'LL SEND IT TO CATHY ... SHES MY "CLERK"!!! BITCH I DO NT WORK FOR YOU I WORK FOR YOUR BOSS I AM NOT YOUR FUCKING CLERK, NOR IS THAT EVEN MY TITLE. GO ON THE FUCKIN SCREEN AND LOOK UP THE FUCKING PRICE AND TYPE IN THE FUCKING 3 DIGIT NUMBER TO THE COST, U CAN'T DO THAT, U DO NT HAVE TWO SECONDS TO TYPE IT IN, HUH HUH HUH NOOOOOOOOOOO U CAN'T DO THAT CAUSE U CAN'T FUCKIN DO NOTHING!!!!

She makes me sooo angry sometimes that my body gets all tingly with anger and I'm so mad that I just want to tear up cause her stupidity is too much for my body and emotions to handle, if I could I would smack some sense into her cause she's an idiot and annoying and just blah. All she does is rely on her looks and that's it, and before you think it ... NO I AM NOT JEALOUS. I have a man and a family and I love them very much I am happy in my personal life and I love me! She's just fuckin stupid ... period! So I have to tell myself to just breathe cause if not then I will indeed be tempted to send her an email letting her know that in the time it took her to send me the fucking email she could have found the costs herself and filled it out herself. I don't think she's ever completed a form alone, like ever! I work with fucking retards.

Virginia Beach

So this was our first time there, granted it took us um a little less than six hours it was well worth it and I would definitely do it again. Maybe not right now but in two months or something haha. Let's break down our mini vacation ...

Day 1:
* Leave for VA around um i think it was 530ish we drove drove drove got a speeding ticket

* Finally got to Va around oh 1130ish maybe, now check in is not till 3 so we were hoping it would be ready for us to go up cause man we were tired and needed a major potty break, so we walk into the lobby and I swear to you the lady at the front desk got her ass kicked by somebody that's for sure. I mean she had two black eyes (my brother jokingly says that's what happens when you don't listen) she had bruises around her face and she just looked fucked up!!!! Anyway luckily our room was ready so we went back relaxed for a few minutes and out the door we went.

* So we decided to check out the boardwalk and the art show that was going on, there really were some amazing art out there, but i couldn't afford any of it even if i wanted to, i mean one huge piece of art was like 3000+ and it's not like that's pocket change to me that's for sure. Any who so we walk to one end and it finishes so we walk to the other end to see the other art, we came in about the middle of the boardwalk. So we walk and walk and look and talk and walk and then we spot food now we're starving so we eat some good grub and keep on walking. The first thought in my head was fuck we should have waited to eat to see what else was out here cause the further we walked the more i would have rather have had that stuff haha. So we walk our asses off cause that boardwalk was long. So we go up a couple blocks to the main street to check out the shops and what they have around there. By then it's almost like 5ish, we were out there a long time so we go back to the room change into our swimsuits and jump in the pool.

* the pool was super refreshing and so nice we had fun, and then we went to grub some more at this place called coney island eats which OMG best food ever!!! Now I really have to go to coney island here in ny haha. so after relaxin even more we checked the time and it was a good time to check out the boat ride stuff.

* so we got to the marina around 645 for a boat ride to check out some dolphins at 7, it was fabulous. we didn't see too many dolphins but we spotted a couple and had a really nice time, even if the kids wouldn't move so i could get a good picture haha. But then as we were enjoying the views and looking for dolphins the boat just took off like a madwoman being chased by her husband with a knife. that's when it got really windy and my hair was flying all over thep lace, and it got really cold.

* after the boat ride we went back to the hotel to shower and change and out again to the boardwalk. but this time we parked closer to the stuff cause we wanted to go to the Mirror of Mazes and Fun House. Which was cute ... when we got out of the car there was a street performer there and he was asking for a lighter sure enough Kirk had one so he went up to volunteer. My dumb ass left the camera in the car and kirk had the keys LOL so no good pictures of that moment.

* so we went into the maze first and that was cute we kept running back and forth, and yeah i hit the mirror a couple times cause i thought there was an opening there ahha it was cute though. I could definitely see how a kid could stay there for a while. I know when we reached the exit we kept going back and forth back and forth a couple more times, needed to get our money's worth ya know.

* after that we walked around a little more then went back to the hotel (the rest is not for ur eyes or ears haha)

Day2:
* Happy Father's Day (i forgot till the maid said something hahahah)

* Went downstairs to get some grub, lemme tell you how their buffet was banging. I mean the bacon was excellent, eggs good, pancakes good, juice refreshing. I wanted to go there the next day but there was no way we'd have made it in time it wasn't early enough but man that was some good grub

* changed into our swimsuits and headed for the beach. It was still pretty light at the beach (meaning not a lot of people) so i loved that fact. we went in and after i don't know ten minutes the water started getting higher, yup that's right high tide. Let's just say those waves killed me. kirk went to go take pictures of this pirate ship that was passing by and he was taking pictures of me sure enough it was at the worst moment. This huge wave came and pummelled me to the floor and i scraped my knee. I tried to get up, yet another way pushed me on my ass, again i tried to get up but nope it just wasn't happening back down on my knees. it just wasn't workin for me i tried one more time and back on my ass fully covered and submerged in the water finally i see kirk taking pictures of this cause he's having fun i'm like kirk i almost drowned lol. He's like I thought you were having fun. Men!!! anyway so then it was his turn to go in so i could take pictures of him and then we went in for a while more then came out relaxed went back to the hotel to shower and get the ton of sand that was all over me, in me under me everywhere lol.

* Then we went shopping for souvenirs for everyone (t-shirts lol). After walking and shopping for a while we went to go pick up some lunch and then back to the hotel for some more swimming. That was fun for sure, after that we went to play some mini golf which let's just say I kicked some major ass. Then walk around some more back to the hotel for shower and change and then back out on the streets for dinner and some fun. Checked out the boardwalk rides (i hate rides). then went back to the hotel slept and left in the early am.

All in all it was a fabulous trip, and i would definitely do it again soon.

Happy Birthday to ME!!!

So today is my birthday and it is the first time i am working on my birthday, only cause I don't want to use up all my days cause I'm taking this Monday off cause me and Kirk are going to Virginia Beach (Woo HOOOO!!!) I've been contemplating the beach all week and as the days get closer and closer the more excited I get. Now I'm not one to jump up and down with joy (only on the inside) but man I'm happy to be getting away. Not that I'm happy I'm leaving my baby but sometimes you just need some you and me quality time with your man alone and no one else. Hopefully we won't argue about something stupid haha. But we're pretty good with that we don't usually argue at all really. Anywho so I'm at work and I'm bored and I don't want to work I just want to go home and relax and have a good time ya know. Get me some drinks and what not lol. Anyway I feel like ranting a little on my birthday ---

I hate when people ask you a question and you're trying to give them a response and they start walking away .. it's like if u didn't want to hear it then why the fuck did u ask me u know.

i hate that all the radio stations have commercials at the same time so there's nothing to listen to for a certian amount of time during the day except freakin commercials

i hate that i'm still at work .. it's 4 no one is here but three people and thats it

that's all for now i need a nap

Ughhh Family

So I love my family I really do but dayum they are a bunch of complainers they find the smallest thing to complain about. You know Kirk is trying to help out wherever he can. Well my mom asked him to trim the bushes (her mistake I swear), the boy has never had a bush or lawn in his life, let alone a freaking tree. He's from Patterson, there are no trees or grass in front of his house or anywhere near him other than the park. So he's going on a whim and doing what he thinks needs to be done, but low and behold he over did it now the bushes are not satisfactory to my mother. Seriously, if you want something done right do it yourself you know what I mean. Then he went to work early cause he was going to help some guy fix his car and the guy was going to give him some money, also he's been going to work an hour early this whole week for over time. My brother is the one who watches Isabella cause he's home, he ain't doing anything why not right. Sure enough I come home and he starts complaining to me that he isn't a baby sitter he is doing this as a favor and what am I going to do if he finds a job (hello, you have to first look for a job before you can even consider saying that statement, but of course he doesn't think about that I don't mention it because he's already on a roll and he's just making me feel about as small as a peanut). We need money, who doesn't need money so any overtime we can do we need to take, any side job we can do we need to take. I am, well I'm not even going to say how much in debt I am lol, but let's just say I'm living check to check right now and I live at home so you know I owe a lot cause I don't pay rent. But if my mother needs anything or we are out I pay for it. No matter what. Anyways so too much complaining, and I know they are helping or trying to help, but don't be two faced about it where you will help willingly but then complain about it later. People are so two faced, I don't think I have ever met a person who isn't and we all are I know we are cause I'm in half the conversations talking about other people. I wonder what they say behind my back when they are talking, not as if I care cause if I ever did find out all hell would break lose. But anyways whatever People just don't care like they used to. It just really irritated me makes me want to put her in daycare (which i really don't want to and don't know anyone who can watch her) and makes me really want to move out asap (which i can't afford cause I have no freaking money). My rant is done for the day thanks for taking the time to listen to me rant on.

One More Week

...and I'll be 28 oh goody lol. I have no clue if we are doing anything for my birthday I'm thinking it might be a big NO haha. But me and Kirk are supposed to drive down to Virginia Beach for the weekend. I'm so lazy I don't want to look for a hotel, seriously I wish I didn't always have to plan everything, it's annoying. I want someone to do it for me for once you know. I hate having to always make the decisions. We'll see what happens I guess. I'll just keep looking for hotels I'm not sure if I should spend a decent amount on a room or just get wherever kind of place to get it done and over with I mean we don't really plan on spending much time in the room ya know. Suggestions? Ideas? Anyone?

Obligations

Today I have to go to a baby shower, because the people who's niece it is went to my baby shower so we have to go to theirs, and then they have to come to Isabella's party cause we went to their shower. It's all a series of obligation after obligation. Today I would much rather be sitting poolside chilling and getting some more sun cause I'm just not dark enough yet for the summer hehe. Even though the summer is just beginning. My brother and his friend went to his mom's house who has a huge pool while I'm stuck taking an hour long drive to the Bronx for a baby shower that doesn't even start till 6:30 at night, I don't care what anyone says to me that is definitely an odd hour to have a baby shower. Especially considering I know when I was pregnant I was exhausted all the time (not that I'm not now either lol) but the girl is due in like two weeks so she has to be tired and she's having a boy so you know her belly is much bigger. But whatever to a shower at that time I shall go. As strange as it is. I can't wait to take a vacation already. Supposedly me and Kirk will be going to Virginia Beach let's hope so cause we need to get away for sure. I just want to get out out out and sleep and explore like we used to do when we were first starting out, and like it was before we had so many damn obligations. Right now Kirk is with Isabella at the "Block party", yet another obligation, but that is definitely one I am skipping out on. I should be taking a shower right now getting ready but I'm being a bum and I stink, no lie I can smell the sweat it's kinda funky but not that man stinky funky, more like girly stinky funny and no not that "fishy smell" nasty hahah just sweaty funky girl sweaty funky. Anyway my point was that instead of a shower I'm here on my blogger ranting about the obligations I need to do that I'm not even doing right now haha. Anywho lemme get back to my obligation by going and taking a shower and cleaning the funk lol.

Tomorrow it's June

Remember me talking about being 28 ... well it's happening in 13 days :-(

I can't believe half the year is over
I can't believe Isabella will be 1 in July
I can't believe I have a kid
I can't believe I got a flat last night I'm so mad
I can't believe it's 9am and I just finished eating a slice of cake it was yummy
I can't believe I will be 28 already, where has the time gone
I can't believe I overslept this morning, bad cathy
I can't believe I'm writing I can't believes

The day of the Rant!

Things I am hating at the moment ...

People who can't drive which is a constant pain in the ass. You know that every time you are in a rush someone has to drive so slow in front of you and then there is a car blocking you on the other side so you can't move to the next lane. And if it's not a slow car it's a freaking truck that doesn't know where they are going. Those things irritate me. Oh and how about the drivers who are scared when they approach trucks, like they will get close but they won't freaking pass them in fear that they are going to suddenly switch lanes and hit them. Grow some fucking balls put ur foot on the gas and freaking pass them already so I can pass them too and then pass you for being a retard.

Something else that pisses me off the lack of sleep that I'm getting. I'm constantly tired and the worst part is sometimes when I'm driving I swear I just want to conk out and call it a day lol. I won't of course cause I don't feel like dying today but yeah very sleepy, I need a vaca just for sleep and then a vaca for fun and then a vaca with the fam. And yes they are ALL very much separate cause you can't have one and the other at the same time it just doesn't work that way haha.

Rumors .. I'm so sick of rumors, apparently it wasn't my boss that was leaving it was the other guy thank god for me but for a good minute i was literally shitting bricks you know what i mean. But it all worked out in the end for now anyway. We'll see what the future will bring.

Periods and the pill piss me off. Having to take it daily at the same time which I rarely do which means is it really that effective cause my period is MIA at the moment, but I have faith that it will come back to me to piss me off cause I want it but then when I get it I don't want it anymore. Isn't that how we are about absolutely everything, that's why that saying is around, "be careful what you wish for because when you get it you might not want it." or however it goes, you get my drift.

Hm what else is pissing me off right now? Oh the fact that my weekends are booked for me without my knowledge like every since I had Isabella now I have to go to family functions because everyone wants to see the baby. OMG leave me alone LOL. Like this weekend I have to go to a shower as if I wouldn't rather be doing something else like going to the Drive In that I've been trying to do forever and a day now since it's opened up again.

That's all for now cause I'm just too tired to write anything else and also I've got like 8 minutes and I'm outta here ... thank goodness for that.

My Weekends ...

always revolve around what Kirk wants to do. It seems that his friends are always doing something. And I really don't mind going there sometimes, but it's like every weekend. I know we should go there just for the mere fact of socializing with people who aren't related to me lol, but sometimes I just want Kirk to take the baby and let me scrap a whole day. I mean there are sooo many things that I want to get done but he just doesn't help and doesn't let me. Usually I have to wait till after 10 when she's asleep and I can try and get some stuff done, but it ain't easy that's for sure. One day it will happen, I have faith in that hehe I just don't think it's anytime soon. Maybe I should go to one of those retreats or something. But then I know I will forget something and wish I was home to get it. Plus I hate going places like that (social gatherings) alone, it's just not me. I need a crutch.

Anyway this weekend was a little rainy on Saturday but I really wanted to take Isabella to the carnival that they have every year, so we couldn't go because of rain. But, Sunday was absolutely beautiful. We didn't go, we went to his friends house. Figures. One day I'll be able to take her, maybe in two years haha. Let's see what happens next weekend, because it's a long weekend, YIPEE to Memorial weekend!!!! Cause I hear the pool calling my name. (it better be f'n nice outside lol)

My almost 28 ramblings

In less than a month I will be turning 28. If you were to have asked me when I turned 21 if my life would be where it is at right now I'd probably have to say no. Not that my life is extremely horrible at the moment, but it's not where I thought I would be. I thought I would have my own place be married and have a kid, (ok yes I have a kid, yes I don't want to get married right now, and yes I'm still living at home lol) and I thought I would be really happy with absolutely everything. In reality I think I am truly happy even though I'm constantly pissy about something, I may not have as much money as I wished I had, but I'm not struggling. I may still live in my tiny room with my boyfriend and our baby, but it's enough for me and him right now at this point in our lives with our financial situations. I think if we ever move out it will be into a house somewhere. As me when I turn 30 if I'm living in that house I've been dreaming about. Right now I'm just pretty much going through the motions and hoping everything works out for the best. But still 28, 2 yrs closer to the big 30, it's bad enough I'm checking the next box you know. I still feel like I'm 21 (not younger cause then I couldn't drink legally lol, we all know how I love my long islands when we go out). Anyways in less than a month I will be 28. My daughter will be 1 in a little less than 2 mnths. Life goes so quickly it really does pass you by. Cherish every moment you get, cause you never know when it will be the last.

More Rumors run Amuck

So someone asked the receptionist if my boss was still here, which he is. But pretty much if he's not here then I'm not here, you know cause I work for him. Now I'm actually worried. What the fuck am I going to do? No one is telling me nothing. There have been many closed doors lately, I'm literally in fear of losing my job. And I don't know where or what I would do if I had to leave. I don't like starting new. Thursday there is a company wide conference call. I will be on it. Even though I know they will probably not tell the truth because all business people are liars, and I'm at the bottom of the work totem pole. I'm just an employee and nothing else.

Time to start Looking?

So one of the managers gave his two weeks notice last week. Today he passes the receptionist and slips her a note that says, "Don't wait till the last minute", last week the rvp of sales gives his notice and he left, two weeks before that a differnet manager gave his notice and also left. So now you tell me is there something going on that I don't know about? There are always talks about losing accounts or closing facilities and what not, even a different facility just lost some major business and a lot of people were terminated. So what happens next, are we the next facility to get hit? I just wish someone had the decency and sincerity to tell the employees what is going on. I've been here almost 5 years (sept), I think I deserve the right to know if i should be looking or not but i know it won't happen. I'm kinda scared kinda not cause i have such a big head i dont think they would ever fire me cause i'm too much of an asset. that's what i think in my head, is that reality who knows.

Walking through the Motions

Everyday like clockwork I wake up go to the bathroom do my business, change my clothes and go to work. Most of the time I"ll go home for lunch see my two babies and then come back to work and finish off the day. Then I go back home and take care of my baby (feed her, play with her, change her and put her to sleep) then if I'm lucky I can scrap a little before my boyfriend comes home which I have to have everything cleaned up by then cause he get's mad hehe. Anyway that's a typical weekday, the weekend is slightly different in that there is always something to do. But my life is sometimes very monotonous and it's just irritating me. I really really need a vacation and a change of scenery. I'm thinking of just getting in the car and driving south. We'll stop at places along the way and call it a vacation LOL. leave thursday and come back sunday or something. But of course we have to wait till kirk has vacation cause I'm definitely not doing that myself lol. I need a companion. Maybe I could even talk my mom into watching the baby so we can do this adventure ourselves. Oo maybe we'll go west lol. There are endless opportunities.

I can barely keep my eyes open ... this is me at work half the time with my eyes closed praying that no one sees me because you are not supposed to sleep on the job those are terms for termination. Speaking of jobs, I'm really starting to worry about mines. There are a lot of people who have been here for years in high positions that have been leaving. I don't know what's going on but whatever it is no one is telling me. Big shocker (i say sarcastically), cause I don't really matter in this company I'm just another person filling desk space. That's it. One day they will catch up to me and realize that I really don't do that much work and that I sit here playing on the internet all day. Either on myspace or chatting on yahoo. I'll wait till that day though. I'll find something better to do, maybe a job I can actually enjoy. One day...

Headaches and Turmoil ...

Have you ever gotten one of those unbelievably horrible headaches that are just considered straight out migraines. When your stomach starts to get queasy, standing up to fast makes your head pound a million times. When the mere thought of doing absolutely anything at all is just too much work. That's what happened to me yesterday, it was horrible. Thank god my mother was there and could take care of Isabella cause I was dying. I took like 6 Motrin and NOTHING. I still have small remnants of a headache not so much a migraine. Now on to another subject ...

If you're a guy you might not want to continue reading this lol. For those women who are on the pill. Now lately I've been experiencing periods so damn light that they are almost non existent now it's not necessarily the pill where you are supposed to miss them. So me being a mom already thought shit I'm pregnant, so I took a test and it came out negative. Now it's the second month and still nothing (I still have a couple days to get it but still I should have it) I take another test yesterday and NOTHING. WTF!!! Where did it go, I know I haven't hit menopause I'm not old enough lol. So my . is MIA, but apparently I'm not pregnant. Has this happened to anyone else LOL ... was this TMI for everyone?

Left out?

Have you ever just felt out of the loop, like nothing seems to go smoothly and everyone else is doing what they are meant to be doing? Think back or present when you were going to graduate college and you had your whole life ahead of you and you had absolutely no idea what to do with it. That's how I feel now at the age of 27. Like every one's lives have fallen into place and I'm just sitting in the sandbox trying to make my blocks work and fit into place. I already have a kid and a significant other (while not married I'm definitely not in any rush), I already have a job and actually own two cars. So why the hell can't I seem to get the courage and the money together to get out of my house and into my own apartment. Lately I been thinking I might be pregnant again, but I don't know. I'm probably not but things have been weird lately so who knows. Have you ever smelled something and thought what the hell is that smell. Then you realize oh wait that's me. That's when you know you smell bad when you can smell yourself ha ha. Um what else oh yeah I need friends. I need to get out more. I don't get to do everything I want to do because there are constantly responsibilities thrown at me left and right. I wish I was my daughters age, so someone could take care of me.

Vacation Time, need help!

So I want to go on vacation, but I have to wait to see when Kirk gets off and where we should go and what we should do. I don't think he get's vacation till July he said. And I have to take my vacation before the end of September or I lose the days. I have five days, what to do what to do what to do. I want to go to somewhere hot so I can go to the beach and have some drinks by the pool. My parents are going to the Jamaica this week. I'm jealous because they went to Mexico last year. I was too busy having baby lol. I couldn't travel anywhere. The last time I had a real vacation was when I went to Puerto Rico (I think I was like three months pregnant or something). Sure I went to cali in Feb but that wasn't really a vacation that was more like a shopping spree. I want to go somewhere with my honey and spend some much needed quality time together. Any suggestions??

the B word!

"Boredom is a condition characterized by perception of one's environment as dull, tedious, and lacking stimuli. There is an inherent anxiety in boredom; people will expend considerable effort to prevent or remedy it, yet in many circumstances it is accepted as an inevitable suffering to be endured."

Right now I would say that definitely describes the way I'm feeling. On top of that I can't seem to stay still and am feeling extremely antsy. I'm sitting here at work with absolutely nothing to do, which I have a feeling will be like most of the summer and I'm already bored. It's only April. Everyone next week is going away for work too so again more boredom to come. Goody Goody Gum Drops!!

You know what, I think I'm even too bored to continue writing. I'm bored with work, I'm bored with life, I'm bored with bills, I'm bored with people, I'm bored with time, I'm bored with everything in general and in between. I'm especially now bored of this blog, which is probably boring in itself.

Sleeping ...

Every day at work it's so utterly drab that I am literally falling asleep at my desk. The summer is the slowest time for us and it really doesn't help that there is really no one around me to shoot the shit with. So I tend to just play online ALL day literally. That's probably why I really started this blog so that I would actually have something to do while at work since I have no work to do.

I think the reason I keep closing my eyes and wanting them to stay closed other than the fact that I'm extremely tired is the fact that I hit the snooze button about five or six times every morning. If you wake up after the alarm goes off your awake but going back to sleep for those extra five minutes over and over again your body just wants to stay in that state. I've been doing pretty good not hitting that snooze button, but this morning I just had to and I did many times and sure enough I'm beyond exhausted. Maybe if I get some freah air it will make it all better. I'll test that theory out in a few minutes. For now I will sit here at my desk in the back of the room staring at the computer screen with no windows near me and people passing by constantly being annoying.

Virginia Tech

The title alone should made you sad and sympathetic.

A Virginia Tech student was behind the massacre of at least 30 people locked inside a campus building in the deadliest shooting rampage in modern U.S. history, the university said Tuesday.

The bloodbath ended with the gunman's suicide, bringing the death toll from two separate shootings — first at a dorm, then in a classroom building — to 33 and stamping the campus in the picturesque Blue Ridge Mountains with unspeakable tragedy.

This happened yesterday, thankfully I know none of the victims but then again unthankfully it's a tragedy that shouldn't have happened. There was insufficient time or ability to send the rest of the students messages regarding the earlier shooting which didn't help the situation at hand but unfortunately they just weren't ready for it. But then again who could possibly be ready for someone to come in and just start shooting randomly without a purpose. Why do people do these things, what in their head triggers the thought that they want to go out and kill innocent people. I mean yeah people get angry because someone else does something that pisses you off, but that doesn't mean you have to act out your anger on them. I think I am not certain that this shooting all started with a girl, there's just no reason. I mean it's really no better than wars, which I also think are nonesense too. Not the people dying but just the concept of war. Just be you know, why bother with stupid things, why are people so damn greedy and selfish and just unintellegent. I don't understand half the stuff that goes on in this world but it happens and even if you don't understand it you have to deal with it. Everyone is affected in one way or another and it's just complete sadness.

Systematically Slow Friday

It's so weird how all week it will be slow, then Friday will be OMG busy, but then once you get the things you received completed the hours drag by slower than a turtle trying to get out of quicksand. It's like I know I only have an hour left, but it will feel like 5 hours by the time it's done. Because I have absolutely nothing to do. How boring is that? It's not as if I can leave either. Although i wish I could, I can't.

The other day I took this test it was cute, the are you amrter than a fifth grader. the fun test. I won't tell you what I got, I didn't do horrible thank god, I got about a b+, a-.

So tomorrow is expo ... I'm an avid scrapbooker and an even bigger shopper. Shopaholics anonymous is what I need to join, I just can't stop sometimes. I'll go to a website or something and put all the things I want in the cart and then i'll just leave without checking out. Cause those are things I want but know I don't absolutely need them. I'm sure I have wishlists on a million different sites, some probably so old they don't make them anymore. I'm kind of excited and scared about tomorrow. Cause I'm going alone which is a bummer, but then on the other hand I can go and come as I please and not have to wait for anyone or stand there searching for people and where they went. But then again what if I need someone to get in one line so I can get in another, oh the drama of shopping. I really do need a shopping buddy. But we'll see what happens, I can't wait!!! I've got the shopping bug and I hope they have new stuff.

One of Many Secrets

So I kinda have this little bug thing ... the wedding bug. Do I, do I not want to? It's all abck and forth yet. It's not like I've been asked but you know when and if I do get asked I'd like to know what I would say. I kinda think that that little paper will be the end of our relationship, that's why I'm terrified of it. But then I'm curious about all the other stuff you know, the wedding stuff. I am female after all. I don't know how comfortable I would be in a wedding dress. I'm so blah about it. I'm girly but not THAT girly you know. I know my dad wants a church wedding and what not but not me, take me to the beach with the waves crashing in the background and no shoes that would be awesome. so opinions on this dress though. If anyone knows me knows I love tunic type things. Anyways I don't know... you married people out there tell me, is it worth it? I mean it's not that I don't love him, cause I do obviously duh we have a kid together and he lives with me. But is that piece of paper signifying unity really a necessity. It's so bad when straight people try and avoid marraige so much and there are non straight people who would love to have it .. they are insane hehe. But if you can do it and make it last (straight or non) more power to you, cause I really don't know if I could do it. Things are fine the way they are now, let's keep it simple, but it's still nice to just imagine you know. hehe. Hopeful weird thinking. I'm a confused person who can never make up their minds. I hate making decisions.

Updates on the u know what

Nothing to update, unfortunatly she had to leave to see my uncle who had a heart attack, as did my mother. So my brother for the time he was home was quite pleasant even though she was calling him constantly .. nastiness. Her kids were actually really nice too .. my younger brother says it's totally her, that she's the problem. Cause when she was not around everyone was happy and fine. So HA she needs to get the f outta dodge (kristi). But she won't not anytime soon. My brother took his TV though so let's see what her excuse now is. She may actually have to spend some time with her kids .. oh oh watch out the witch is back!!!

Just call me LISPY

So I went to the dentist to put in my caps, no not the gangsta caps with gold or whatever on them ... nerds. I had a root canal etc etc anyway back to the point. It's in the front, and you know when you talk your tongue hits the back of your teeth to make certain sounds. Well sure enough duh they are new and feel weird so now I am having a slight lisp until I get used to them. I was trying to sing in the car and teach my tongue where it need to go. (that sounds so perverted but true)

I have a Headache...

So today is Good Friday ... the lucky ones have off while I'm stuck at work doing absolutely nothing, which is what I've been doing since oh I don't know TUESDAY!!! Anyway one of the managers is leaving now, well most of them are gone already but yes we are stuck here. Is the last one going to let us leave early? Who the hell knows. I doubt it. Cause he's just that much of a dick. I hate work!

Dr.s Offices and the People who work there!

Ok so I've gotten a bill twice saying to call my insurance for a procedure I did in December when I had to go to the emergency room. So I call my insurance and they tell me to call the provider well no that's a lie I called the person on the bill (provider) and then they told me to call the insurance, which I proceeded to do. Then the insurance tell me you shouldn't have a bill we already paid it, did they receive so and so amount call them back and ask. So I called them back and asked and they said when you have an emergency visit you have two bills one for the doctor and one for the hospital. The bill my insurance was talking about was for the hospital so that's nill and void, so they tell me to call the insurance back and ask about the doctor bill. So I call the insurance back and they tell me it's through so and so plan and that the doctor is part of the plan so the bill is a discounted amount through the plan. So I call the provider back and tell them what the insurance says how the amount is not my responsability and that the doc is through the plan, which then the lady gets on the phone and says no the doctor is not in the plan, I tell them that's what the insurance tells me, I mean I don't know what else to do they said if you want you can give them a call to figure out what's going on. So she's like ugh fine I'll give them a call and I'll call you back. I'm like if your going to call me back now I'm at a different number so she was all annoyed by that (the whole time I'm on the phone with the provider people both woman are total bitches and sound very annoyed that I'm even bothering them with this menial task). I tell her that I'm going back and forth here, I call you, you tell me to call them, I call them they tell me to then call you. This of course happened like three times, so I've made already six calls between the two of them. So I'm like well you can call them if you want and talk to them to see what's up. Duh hello, why didn't you call them to begin with to see why they didn't pay the bill instead of telling me to call my insurance for them to only tell me to call them right back. It's all very confusing and now I have a headache and don't want to talk to either of them and am now waiting for the bitch to call me back and tell me if I need to pay this back or not.

But my rant is one why did I have to make so many calls when they could have called each other to begin with and two why do they have to be so damn rude when I was quite nice to them and polite. I don't know what's going on do I look like I'm in medical billing NO, so get on it and do your job and stop huffin and puffin cause I'm actually making you do some work. Geezus people are annoying. I can't stand them sometimes.

Frustrated with Responsabilities

Having a baby really changes your life in so many ways. I mean I always knew it was going to be a lot of work, but they were not kidding in the least. I used to have friends, I used to have time, I used to sleep. I used to shop for myself a lot, now I walk into a store and straight to the baby section. I will always leave a store with something for my kid. She has to be the most spoiled kid I know, well duh I don't really know many. She was the first baby I've ever held. It's a glorious and beautiful thing believe me, having a child that is. But I'm tired, and I just need a couple days to actually sit down and get things done. It doesn't help that I live with so many people and there is always someone doing something or just something.

I remember a time when I would go out and just hang out with friends. I don't know what happened. I mean I know in college everything was fabulous. Then after college came and people started dwindling by the wayside, which is understandable because everyone needs to start their own lives. But the numbers kept dwindling smaller and smaller until after the baby where the number turned zero. My friends are the people I live with (the ones I like anyway). That's it. I'm telling you babies change your lives forever. I used to be a scrapbooking speedster. Now I'm lucky if I get at least one page or one project done a week. It's horrible I tell ya. I haven't even done Christmas. I wish just once, that my significant other would take the responsability roll and just take our kid and spend the day with her all day so that I can get things done that I need to do because it's been so long or I never have time. But he never does, because he's extremely selfish. If you asked me two years ago if this is how I would picture my house, my answer would probably be no. I would at least be living in my own damn place haha. that might be the only difference.

Tuesday what happened?

It's like monday was so busy because duh it's monday you have to get all the work done that accumilated from the weekend. Wednesday is hump day, it's just that much closer to the weekend so it's a beautiful day. Thursday you can practically taste the long island ice teas. Then there is beautiful Friday, finally you can leave work and do whatever the hell you want because you know you have nothing to do tomorrow. Then the weekend has arrived and it's glorious, Saturday run around do what you can and Sunday is a day of relaxation because you know tomorrow is Monday and back to the daily grind, but whatever happened to Tuesday, what the hell is Tuesday but just a random day they put there so that all other days could have some kind of special meaning. I don't know ... who made up this calendar thing anyway.

I'm still living at home

And not only am I still living at home, but yes wait for it here it is .... my boyfriend and my baby are with me as well, in a little room living together with my family where I swear it feels like a hostel sometimes. There are 12 of us all together ... but one is moving out so make it 11 for now. Even though they are still there because they are going out of town on business for a month, ok fine let's leave it at 12. So you already know it's me, my man, and our baby. There's my mother and father (their house obviously), my younger brother, older brother, my cousin and her two kids, and my younger brothers best friend and my uncle. I'll introduce them when I rant about them lol.

There is constantly some type of drama going on around my house it's just never ending story there (and not the good kind where that kid flies on that puppy in that movie) nope, we're talkin about the princess' land didn't get saved from the darkness that overcame the world. (yes i'm referring to that damn movie neverending story). And oh my goodness let me not start on the gossip that goes around, seriously my house is divided eventually I'll get into that. But for right now it's divided in half with few if none in a nuetral corner. If one talks about one we all talk about all. And yes I know 12 ppl are a lot so before you think we're Mexicans (nothing against them of course just stereotypically speaking) we're not but we're hispanic none the less, cause I don't think there are too many ppl who love each other so much that no one wants to leave home haha.

I know I'm jumping around a little bit but I just want to try and introduce myself so you can get an idea of who I am. Which is very opinionated (but very quiet) everything seems to happen in my head, I know I can say things out loud but then again I know if the thoughts came out of my head that there will be major chaos in my life and therefore I choose to keep things to myself and only tell a select few. But if you catch me online I'll definitely rant at you about anything and everything. Like people who can't drive and the road rage I have in my head (which I know have a massive headache I wonder why), the incestual happenings I swear is going on in my house ... which I have some interesting funny news on which i'll tell later of course. And how can we not forget about the rantings I have about my significant other (I can't call him my better half cause honestly I think I'm the better half haha but I love him dearly). Those rantings will go on forever cause there are just tooo many people who don't think about what they are doing or are about to do or other people for that matter. Ok I'm gonna start another post ... let's hope I can get the hang of this blogger thing.

Incestual Happenings ... further investigated

I have no viral proof of this mind you just a lot of hear/say stuff and then maybe things I see here and there. Like you know those little touches people who are in love or are in the first stages of love do with each other. For example your in the kitchen and you need to pass there could be 10 feet of space between that you could walk through but instead you brush your arm against the other person, or put your hand on their shoulder just so that you could feel their warmth under your hand .. yeah that is the kind of stuff I see between my brother and my cousin. Can we say hello Incestual Happenings. In the beginning when she moved in because she found out several years ago that her husband well let's just say wasn't on the straight and narrow she endured it for four years but then finally couldn't take it anymore so she got out and moved in to my mothers house. Hence the disruption in the house and the division took place I'd say about 2 months later. So it started out simple, she would hang out with him and his friends (this was when his friends were still coming over, they now no longer do). But then it would come to a point where his friend would come over and he would leave his friend and go out with my cousin, that was rude everyone thought it was weird and eventually it would get weirder and weirder. Cause me being the person I am, (I hate her btw) said something to her about her not helping around the house and what not and we had a little "pow wow" and in that little meeting, my own brother, my OLDER brother, the one who is supposed to look out for me and protect me and all that good stuff, took her side and completely and disregardedly (am I making up words now) went completly against me. His reasoning was that I was jealous because there was another female in the house. First of all we didn't hang out that much if at all to begin with so what would I be jealous of? I just had my baby (who is female by the way another female in the house but I'm not jealous of her nope I'm jealous of my thirty something year old cousin who left her husband to come and "hang out" here and be with my twenty something year old brother). You tell me what am I jealous of?

So months would go where they would be closer and closer and closer. People would see things and of course what's the first thing they do ... tell me, why? I don't know they just do. Everyone comes to me and tells me everything like I'm supposed to do something. Out of respect for my mother I have not and will not say anything because my mother doesn't need that added stress. Not that I don't tell my mother everything I just don't voice my opinion to "It" (my cousin that is her name from now on). Because if I spoke to It about everything I swear someone would end up in the hospital and it wouldn't be me, know what I'm saying. So not only does my brother take "its" side on absolutely everyone against absolutely everyone but they have secluded themselves from the rest of the house and family. They as a family will go out and not tell anyone, (family = It, her two kids and my brother (aka the new daddy)) and they spend all day together. They even text each other all day too. Let's just say it's all so unnatural ... people have said they have seen them kiss or about to .. but then again people have said they've seen the chupacabra. So what am I to believe if I've never seen it.

Enough of that here's the funny thing that happened this weekend. It's kids are also getting fed up with the closeness that is going on inappropriately. The girl (she has one of each) says you never sit by me anymore you are always stuck to him all the time, why is that? She had no answer of course. The oldest, the boy says you always tell me to clean, clean clean and that's all you do is yell and complain. Why don't you leave him alone he is smart he can do his own things, why do you always have to be on top of him, LET HIM BREATH! (mind you i believe he's only 9 telling this to his mother) The only reply she could come up with was ... what did i say to you? Not a denial or anything close to those lines, nope just a what did i say or do to you? What kind of mother is that you tell me? But I thought it was halarious that even her own kids are calling her out on her behavior. My other brother says ha ha she got owned by her own kids. So true, so very very true.

The saga will continue ... but right now I'm tired of typing and it's almost time to go home haha.